A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am young around legal drinking age, my fiancee is around my age too.I am a girl and I don't party, I don't dance and I don't drink.My fiancee when I met him partied and drank at least once a week.I don't like that face that he drinks and gets drunk and wasted. He said he's not gonna change and I met him and knew he liked to dance, and I met him as a drinker too. He said I shouldn't have a problem with him drinking with his friends... BUT I DO. We've had a few times that he cheated on me and I took him back. As far as I know of he was drunk when it happened. That I think is a major reason why I don't like he drinking even with his guy friends.He tells me its over and done with and its been years and I need to just stop worrying about it.What do I do? Should I accept that he likes to drink or should he respect me and our relationship to stop? He also says he wants me to go and drink and party atleast once a month to have fun. What do I do, I dont think I should change because thats not me, but is that him as a party and drinker and he shouldn't have to change either?
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female
reader, Kalyov +, writes (17 September 2010):
 my boyfriend and I had that same conversation...our first fight actually. But we calmed down and talked about it like we should...and he decided he would rather have our relationship than drink and loose it. I gave him the option "me or the beer" he choose me.
So I think that if he respects your relationship enough he would/should stop drinking.
A
female
reader, sarahrose20  +, writes (17 September 2010):
i agree completely with youwish but if after hearing what she had to say you still want to be with him suggest he drinks less. not necisarily less often , not get shitfaced. hes cheating on you how can you ignor that? no matter how drunk he got thats innexcusable. if he loved you he would not get soo drunk that he could not control himself knowing yu would be hurt.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 September 2010):
 Well, here's the thing. He was that way when you met him. You can never change a guy, and you should never try to change someone, otherwise, resentment will build and the relationship is doomed.
As for his cheating on you, that's a different thing. He's done it on multiple occasions. I would have dropped him after the first occasion. I think it's a trust issue you're struggling with, and I think that going into a marriage with that is not a good idea.
You should find someone more compatible with you, but I think you're starting to feel that too.
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