A
female
age
36-40,
*k7babygirl
writes:I have been with my fiance for four years, we have two beautiful baby boys together, i thought things were coming together until about a month ago he started acting some type of way, hiding his phone, rushing me out of his house, arguments starting out of clear blue sky. Finally i started snooping, only because i really wanted to know what was going on. Later on i found out he left me for another female and it tore me apart because i really cared about him and still do. About a little over three weeks ago we got into a big fight, later on that day i started having contractions, his mother and i went to the hospital, while he watched our other son which is eighteen months now, he takes my one year old to go see this female, while i am having his next child. To make a long story short we have been going through since then, and i really care about him, and i am trying to wait for him cause i feel he is confused, i tell him he needs to pick her or me but he never answers, so now i am left to decided do i leave or do i stay. It's hard though cause i love him with all my heart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): What a bastard. Sounds just like my ex. He left me twice. We have three children together under 5. He left during my second and final pregnancy. The final one he left me for another women and when they broke up he asked for me back. I tried to make it work with him but it didnt. I agree totally with the female reader. He doesnt deserve you and you need to find the strength to move on. Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): What exactly are you waiting for?
I mean let's examine this situation. When you have a boyfriend who leaves you for another woman, what that usually means is that he doesn't want to be with you anymore. So what are you waiting for?? I mean what else does he have to do to make you understand that he does not want to be with you. Don't you think what he did is humiliating enough?? Stop living in the future. Your like "oh what if he comes back, or he changes his mind." So what if he does?? Is it the future?? NO, right now it is the PRESENT. And as of NOW which should be the only time that counts, he doesn't want to be with you. So take that to heart. And for all you know, he may never come back. So stop living in the future and only worry about what is going on TODAY and take that to heart. He doesn't want to be with you.
Furthermore, he sucks. He left you for another woman. What does that mean to you?? Does that mean anything to you?? Girl if I were you I would be working on my sense of pride, my dignity, and my self respect. But You are acting like you are worth nothing. And that concerns me.
LET HIM GO. HE is not worth it. Just make sure that he provides for your children and BE STRONG. You should NEVER forgive someone who treats you like that. There is just no excuse for doing that.
Right now just focus on yourself. What have you always wanted to do?? Maybe open your own business?? Right now just work hard to better yourself and your financial situation. Where there is a will there is a way. Forget about guys right now. You'll have plenty of time for that later. Right now, you have your mother in laws support, so take advantage of it and just work hard at becoming independent and fulfilling your dreams.
A friend of my mother's moved to NYC 20 years ago with two young kids and NO MONEY and no education. And with all that burden, she has since gotten her MASTER'S degree and opened her own business. No guy helped her. She did this by herself, with two kids to take care of and no money. I have GREAT admiration for her.
You have got to get your priorities straight on what is important in life. And it is definitely not this guy. He has done NOTHING for you but give you grief. YOU and your kids and your happiness are what is important right now. So get out there and work hard and do something PRODUCTIVE for your family.
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A
female
reader, Bk7babygirl +, writes (20 November 2007):
Bk7babygirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor those who gave me advice, i thank u dearly and this has made me stop and really think, i'll keep u updated.
Babygirl
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (20 November 2007):
 The only way you will find out for sure is if you give him that ultimatum and then stick to it, now i understand you have children together so you would have to have contact because of them but if he choses her then you need to walk away from him altogether, if he is just messed up and not sure what he wants then this is the way to make his mind up, if he loves you the thought of you moving on will be enough to bring him back.
Take care.xx.
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