A
female
age
30-35,
*harleybabes0811
writes:Okay, so. After my birthday in november i started seeing one of my exs again - we had split up as we'd both changed a bit. I had cheated on him too, but he didnt know that when we split. (mistake, long story, blahblah)We were seeing eachother for a few months and got really close, when out of the blue, he got with someone else.I was gutted, as any girl would be, and we stopped talking for a while. We kept seeing eachother at mutual friends' parties, and started talking again. We were really good friends, and I started liking him again. But i wouldnt go anywhere with it 'cause he was taken. Recently, as some may have guessed, they split up.He text me asking if we could go for a drink because he had alot on his mind and needed someone to talk to. I agreed and we met at my local. We chatted all night. I had a great time, so did he. We texted after we went in and was telling me about how he's had really strong feelings for me, and that he hopes something comes of us. Like a realationship.After that, we started seeing eachother a few times a week, going the pub, watching films etc. Sometimes with friends, sometimes alone.Last night we went to a local pub, and he decided he wanted to go to town. So we went to town and his ex was there. Some of her friends were going but she's only 17 and we didnt think she'd be there. Trying to make peace, I didnt spend all my time with him, and as i hadnt seen some of these people in about a year, lost track of time. He'd had quite a bit to drink and started trying to kiss this girl i'd been talkin to. She knew what was going on with us, but claimed not to. I got upset and stayed away from him. Then he took her down an alley and 'things happened'. Don't know the details, and i dont want to, but thats what i heard them saying to a mutual friend. And i saw them go into the toilets together.Anyway, as the night went on she'd decided she was getting a taxi with us. And was all over him right in my face, and then when she wasnt over him, she'd come to me and tell me to make him jealous or sort him out cause he wouldnt leave her alone. She was the first to get out, and after she went he'd talk to me more. I was in a bad mood and he kept sitting by me, trying to put his arm round me and hug me, how he'd usually cheer me up... I told him not to touch me and how angry I was with him. After that he sort of just stayed by me. Standing at my side like a bodyguard. We walked a friend home, and then he walked me. He was telling me how he didnt understand me sometimes. It made me feel better by talking through with him why I was getting upset, and why though he hadnt done anything wrong technically, he hadnt been the nicest. And how annoying his girl of choice was (seriously, you have no idea.)At the time I felt we'd made up, that all was forgiven and I was happy again... for like 5 minutes.So my questions are:1. Girls, if you were out with your guy and one of his exs was there, would you be all over him or just talk occasionally and mingle, or what?2. Should I take him back and try and work through it, because idk :/Sorry it's so long :/
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Your first question is irrelevant, there are no set rules as how to act in those situations.
He's playing you, he tells you he has feelings for you and hopes you can have a relationship, yet he goes off with other girls in front of you.
You cheated on him, you already broke up once and yet after all this game playing, on/off stuff you still persist.
If you want to continue to play games with this guy, never knowing what's going to happen next, whether he's going to like you tomorrow or whether he's going to get off with another girl the next time he's drunk then stay with him.
Personally I like the easy life, when people can't make up their minds, say one thing and do another or don't mind playing games then I walk away.
He sounds like more hassle than he's worth.
A
female
reader, Charleybabes0811 +, writes (18 August 2010):
Charleybabes0811 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer.
It was this random girl he went off with, I actually got along with his ex.
It's hard to just forget about it after being with them, or seeing him rather, for so long :/. I have changed things already. But Idk whether to just end it all together :/
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A
female
reader, romany +, writes (18 August 2010):
 I can't work out if he was down alley way with his ex or some other random mate at the club, but if i'm honest, it dont matter, he went out with you, and you shouldn't have had to be guarding him all night, it sounds like your kinda blaming yourself coz he may have felt like he wasn't getting the attention from you, and no doubt when he played the wounded soldier on the walk home, he told you that, but the fact remains he pulled someone else! come on Charleybabes, you know that aint right, even if he was Brad Pitt it still wouldn't make it ok, and forgiving him so readily has made you look a mug in his eyes, he'll be pulling stunts left right and centre if you let him get away with this.
He needs to face up to what he done, and he can't be excused coz he was drunk either, he needs to take responsiblity for being a prick, and then if you truly truly believe he can be a loyal boyfriend, then take him back and let all this be forgotten.
I read one of your answers just now to someone who was having trouble trustin, and it was a good answer, apply some of that logic to yourself, and realise you dont deserve to be made to feel like an idiot.
Also If it was your mate that went down the alley and into the toilets, then she aint no mate and steer clear, i'm surprised you put up with it, i think my drink would have found itself down her lap, then i would have said, oh my goodness, i'm so sorry, lets go to the loos and get you cleaned up, then in the loo's i would have worded her up. lol.
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