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Should he be a part time dad with the woman he loves? Or a full time dad with the woman he doesn't?

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Question - (5 June 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2009)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been in a relationship with a man off and on for 4 yrs. We recently made plans for me and my children to move in with him and start a family.

Until we found out that he is going to be a father, with a woman he had a sexual relationship with over the winter when we were not seeing each other.

Now he says he is not sure what he wants to do...A) continue with our relationship and raise his son with me. B) Have his son with him full-time and raise him with the biological mother of his son.

He says he does not love her, that he loves me, but is confused...He wants his son with him every day, but can only have that if he is with the mother, that he does not love..The bioligical mother is leaving the decision up to him. She has stated that she knows he doesn't love her, but that since he has been names the father she has devoloped feelings for him..

She was having sexual realtions with another man at the time she got pregnant and was goign to stop seeing my guy until she found out she was pregnant.

What does he do????Raise his son with a woman he doesn't love full time, or raise his son part-time with me the one he loves?????

Thanks

Freddie

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A male reader, Neboraic United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2009):

Whatever happens, the kid should stay with its mother and see its father regularly. SOunds a lot like B

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009):

Its completely his decision to make sweety. I can understand how confused this would make you! Just give him some space and let him make it. Dont pressure him but advice him that his son wouldnt want to be raised in a house with parents who never loved each other..

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntThis is up to him to decide, its not really up to you so just give him space to make a decision.

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