A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I found out my boyfriend cheated on me because I checked his email. He has since then apologized, said he really wants to be with me, and has treated me much better like when we first started dating. (I knew something was different when he was with the other girl). I never, ever, ever want to go through his email again, but I feel conflicted and tormented. Can a cheater ever become faithful again? Are there any people out there who gave cheaters a second chance and it paid off in the end? I think I just don't want to be hurt again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): If it was a one time slip up then maybe. If you are sure it will never happen again and he is sure. The thing is sometimes when someone cheats they carry that guilt around with them for the rest of their lives which gives them even more incentive to stay faithful . You can never get that guilty feeling out of your head if you are truly sorry about it, truly love the person you cheated on, and truly would never ever do it agian.
A
male
reader, JoeM  +, writes (25 February 2010):
I think everyone deserves a second chance... but not a third.
Alot of guys cheat physically but not emotionally.
Women find it hard to seperate sex and emotion, were as men do not. I'm not saying that makes it right. But just trying to explain to some women why men fall to temptation sometimes.
Its not an emotional experience for Men, they dont want to have feelings for the woman they cheat with. They just want a bit of physical fun and then forget about it...
Problem is guys should know that if his girlfriend finds out she will be devastated and dump him, and then he will feel terrible.
I do think that temptation can be too much sometimes, even for the a very loving guy, and if he cheats he will be genuniely disgusted with himself, and never do it again.
I guess if you have a really great relationship and you love eachother dearly, then maybe the guy who makes a once off mistake deserves a second chance. But he offends again... show him the door!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): Sometimes their r no reasons. Some cheat for excitement. A love of a secret life and buzz off it. When caught,blame the one they claim to love. If u cheat u know wot u r doin. No second chances. I have been there. Find out if he cheated on his ex's. If so,u r better to get out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): When something is missing in a relationship that's when the cheating begins.Its not right.It bloody well is not fair.Most of the time the perpetrator loves the spouse.It would have been meaningless to him.You can definitely give him another chance.Everyone deserves another chance.But if he does it again,its not worth it.You can self analyze yourself as to where you have been going wrong.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 Same story as "Not my Name".. my idiot ex cheated on me, once as far as I can tell.. I was on holiday and far away. What made me so angry is that I had opportunities and turned them down.
It hurts, never expected it to hurt that much. Told him he would have to work hard to regain my trust. I threw it back in his face for years, and sometimes I had nightmeres and became a little insecure. But he was patient. He became the perfect man, a real prince charming, patient kind and loving... 14years later we broke up for other reasons. I could have left him a room full of naked women and he wouldn't touch them. Apart from that one mistake, I know he never cheated again.
Knowing why he cheated helped a lot. I took some of the blame, because I guess I wasn't treating him right. Knowing he was sorry for what he had done to me and what he had done to the relationship also made me believe that his sorry wasn't words and were really true regret.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): I have been cheated on and it was about 1 year and a half ago.after that happend we were back in the 2 months after it happend and were still together;-)and he treats me much better.take the chance but let him kno its his last and mean what you say.tell him how bad it hurt you.hope i could help.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 You should give him a second chance and no more.
First time , he cheated , it could be due to his inexperience , immaturity and the temptations.
He should have wised up .
He should not be making the same mistake twice.
2nd strike, he is out.
I feel this is more fair in any relationship.
There won't be a 3rd time .
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 Some do change! I stayed with my ex another 16 years after he got caught out having an affair. I have zero doubt that he was 100% faithful after the fact too.
In his (my ex's) words, .... he was an immature, selfish, greedy, little boy, but seeing the pain he caused made him wake up, take responsibility for his actions, and become a man.
I guess in the end it boils down to not just how much remorse they felt when caught, ... but what they are actually sorry about. If it is because of the pain they inflicted upon another then you have a chance, .. if they are only sorry that they got busted out and the repercussions upon themselves, then forget about it. imo.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): Hi gal
Im really happy for you that everything is back to normal,however i believe if you feel something is not right you must check so that you will be satified.you will never know what made him cheat in the first place so he may cheat again ,so if you do not address the issues,always be alert.
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (24 February 2010):
 Everybody's different. We can't tell you wheather or not your bf will cheat again. My partner of 7yrs cheated on me so I know the pain you're going through. I didn't forgive him and from what I can gather he's still the same with the women he dates now. However, a friend of mine forgave her partner and they went on to get married.
The question is do you think you can forgive him? You'll never forget but if it's something you'll bring up in every argument and throw it in his face time and again then you're going to have a problem.
I think you should trust your instinct. If you really believe he's changed and you can learn to trust him not to hurt you like this again then maybe it's worth giving the relationship another go. If there's any doubt in your mind then you're probably better off walking away.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 February 2010):
Some people have taken a cheater back and it has worked out. More have taken a cheater back and been hurt again. It really depends on how you feel about it all, and whether you can trust him again. If you both work very hard at it, understand why he cheated and understand how it has hurt you, and he really puts his effort in, then maybe it can be worked out. But if he ever cheats again or hurts you, get rid of him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): Happens once shame on him, happens twice shame on you. I believe there's reason for 2nd chances in every relationship but that all depends on how long you guys have been together. Sometimes people make mistakes we are human after all but if it's only been a few months....that's the exception to my personal rule, lol.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): Don't go there. I have been a victim of cheating before. They never change.
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