A
female
age
30-35,
*sSadie
writes:I'm just curious for your opinions.It certainly is the moral thing to do. But I recall reading once that if it was a one time thing that would never happen again, it's better not to admit to cheating. Seek to fix whatever it was that led you to cheat, but spare your partner the devastation and feeling of betrayal from knowing you strayed.Thoughts? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, xzibit33  +, writes (28 December 2012):
 You know, some lies do more good than the truth... Like when Abraham lied Sarah was his sister.
My take on this is that if u know and u are sure this won't repeat itself then u can keep the secret in Pandora's box.
However if ur babe isn't clingy, then just try to tell her.
A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (7 March 2012):
 "No matter what anyone tries to say to the contrary, once you've gotten away with an affair you will never respect your spouse like you once did."
--The anonymous poster below should create an account asap.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): "I am sparing my spouse the hurt" is a very effective way to rationalize a selfish lie. But it's still nothing more than a selfish lie.
No matter what anyone tries to say to the contrary, once you've gotten away with an affair you will never respect your spouse like you once did. You may still admire them but you no longer respect them like you should.
And you no longer feel as loved by them as you used to. They aren't loving you anymore and they don't even know it. They only love the person you used to be before the affair.
These hidden relationship problems will eventually make you want to seek solace in someone else. Someone you can admit your faults around and still feel loved. Your next affair.
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A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (6 March 2012):
There is a time when admitting to cheating becomes a way for the cheater to unburden themselves and clear their own conscious; at the expense of the other person.
But....
It's almost never the "highroad" to lie about cheating. I personally would not want to be left in the dark, no matter what the circumstances were. A possible gray areas would be: you plan to not have sex with, and, breakup with your partner anyway.
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A
female
reader, bluebelleyes  +, writes (6 March 2012):
In situations like this, where morality could be argued either way, I like to revert to the Golden Rule; ' Do to others as you would have them do unto you. ' So. Imagine your spouse/significant other cheating on you with one of your friends/family members/co-workers/or even a stranger. Say you got a phone call three weeks later from the 'other woman' confessing the situation.
Would you be mad at your spouse/significant other? Or would you forgive them, understanding that they just wanted to protect you?
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