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age
51-59,
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writes: My girlfriend of 8 years and I completed building our dream home about 6 months ago. It was a difficult and stressful experience with some pretty rough arguments but we still loved each other. About a month after we moved in she moved out as she said she wasn't happy and needed a break.She decided that she was going to goto India in Sept of this year for 3 months to figure out what she wanted. She also said that she was going to sleep with other people in the meantime and be free to do as she pleased. About a month after she moved out, we somehow got into an intense sexual situation that lasted for about two months with lots of passion and love. Then about 2 weeks ago, after having sex on the Thursday, she went out with a friend on the Friday and had sex with a guy she had met through her friend some months before. She now says she is in love with him and sees a future with him. She is still going to India in a few weeks, and isn't sure how she will feel when she returns.To add further complication, as we both own half the house, there is the decision as to what to do. She has a yoga studio there, which was part of the dream that I first floated to her. She loves it, and wants to retain access to it and her share of the house when she returns. I still have really strong feeling for her, but know that for now we cannot be together. We are still talking and have been very amicable about what has and is happening.We met when she was 18 and I 28 and I think that this may be part of the problem. She needs some time to explore life without me there. I understand this. She says that if we get back together it will be for life with marriage and kids.I don't know if I should break it off completely, which is what everyone has been saying, including my and her parents, or try to accept her coming and going, using the studio, and most likely having her new boyfriend access it as well.I should be approaching this purely from a financial perspective, but there is still emotion for both of us. In some ways I want her to still have her dream, but maybe she needs to realize what she is losing.Any insight, comments or advise is much appreciated.
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female
reader, elitzabeth  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 You should follow your parent's advice. It is going to be hard to swallow, but you'll eventually digest it. Let her go... it is obviously that it is not the right time for her.. Maybe, she will regret it later on, but in the mean time you need to get your self on track. She does not want you... When a women is in love she does not do the things she is doing to you. Go to a lawyer and have the building or whatever separated. You do not need her. She is not bringing anything positive into your life and she does not love you obviously...I am sure you had already heard this from your family.
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