A
female
age
30-35,
*ovelylez
writes:Hi, im 20 years old and have been with my girlfriend for five years now we live about 300 miles apart but thats never really been an issue we can easily get a coach to see each other for the weekends its actually uqite nice to get away sumtimes. this year in september im going to university there so things will be much easier and im excited for it. This past year she has been extremly ill suffereing from a bowel disease which on the verge of being diagnosed as chrons which causes incredible pain sickness dioreah and weight loss plus much more . . . latley she is suffereing from a cold she caught from me on top of that. she's just so moody and picky all of the time at me for the simplet things the other day she was going at me saying you have gave me this cold etc you an idiot?! i mean how would you take that? i said sorry etc.. but there was just no talking to her that night it was a horrible litte answer for everything. anyways im not sayin I'm the perfect girlfriend because im really not... i make my mistakes and oh yes she does let me know about them and i have to apoligise and well its a good thing that she makes me see that i am wrong. however when ive told her that i cant take it any more this week and to back up then woah it blows up in my face she defends and denies it for the life of her . . . whys it so hard just to admit okay yeah i have been a bit harsh and piccky on you im sorry im jst not feeling that well. ill tlk to her and tyr make her feel better for hours sumtimes. She just threw her guns up and slammed stuff back in my face like i was attacing her and i realli wasnt and havnt been, i cant get through to her she is so stubborn and i know she wont admit to it and apoligise. this disease is changed her i miss her so much, shes here shes alive but shes not herself anymore and i relaly want her back. i feel so alone like i cnt tlk to her about anything even stuff not realted about our realtionship is a problem for her. any advice will be appreciated i love her to the moon and back i just dont know where to turn to next, everything is always im ill you should see that! i can see that but at the same time im only human i can only tke her crap for so long till i snap and need an apology. i just feel like i havnt got a girlfriend at the moment. please help :-(
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female
reader, lovelylez +, writes (16 March 2010):
lovelylez is verified as being by the original poster of the question I do understand all the time but theres only so much a person can take when there havnig shit thrown at them from your partnery constatly u need to b strong for them and u cnt when they r wearing u down and pushing u out.
A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 Try and look at it from her point of view - she's suffering with a disease. No wonder she's moody all the time, I probably would be too. It can't be a pleasant experience.Usually I don't advocate her behaviour, but I think you need to have a little more understanding and give her a little more leeway. Because she has this disease, it may cause her discomfort, and not being comfortable can effect your mood. Stop trying to argue with her about everything, if she's already in a bad mood then you will probably just make it worse. Just understand that her moodiness is probably the illness talking, not her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): She sounds like she may have other problems, the inability to control her emotions. Has she had chron's for the entire 5 years you have known her?Has she always been like this, extreme mood swings that happen at the drop of a dime? If the answer is yes, then why are you trying to "fix" a relationship with an irrational person? You can't. You are beating your head against a wall, and being in a relationship with such a disordered person will eventually erode your physical health (colds, diabetes, you name it) and kill your spirit.Who wants to sign up for a lifetime of that? Not me, how about you?
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A
female
reader, lovelylez +, writes (13 March 2010):
lovelylez is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe illness can improve with the right medication but its a long idagnosis, and it messes with your head the way the doctors take so long to diagnose. It wil be there for a lifetime but it can improve. i cant talk to her ive just tried and i tried to make a valid point at could help us both and b4 i even got on to my 5th words shes talkin under me saying wateva wtaeva waeva its shit. i love her and im tyring my best but im losing energy, im sposed to be doing college work right now and i cant . . . thanks for da reply :-)
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A
female
reader, hmae89  +, writes (13 March 2010):
I'm sorry to hear that. It can be really depressing to have an illness of any sort and you know the say " you hurt people that you love the most" that is TRUE! I would say stick around for awhile and show her you love her. If she wasn't like this before her sickness, then she is probably just so upset about it that she is taking it out on other people. Hang in there! Do you know if she will get better from this illness? Is there anything they can do? Good luck! :)
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