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female
,
anonymous
writes: This girl I like is in an unhappy relationship and says she'd rather be with me. I don't want to be responsible for the break up of her current relationship, but I really want to be with her. What the hell do I do?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 If it's the girl who's unhappy, then she'll break up with her boyfriend. That doesn't mean that you caused the break up.
It would be a different situation if you were to become emotionally or sexually involved with her before she finishes with her boyfriend. Then you're "responsible".
If you're really concerned about being seen as the cause of the breakup, then allow some time to pass after she finishes with him, before you start going out with her.
At this stage, the next move is really up to her. Although it would be wrong of you to pressure her to break up her old relationship, you can explain to her that you're sorry, but nothing can happen between you two whilst she's with someone else. That might spark her into thinking about how best to end her current relationship.
Until she does something to finish what she's involved with now, she's really still with the other guy. It's up to her to change that.
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