A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:For the past couple of weeks, I had a crush on a girl who I knew a had a partner. I couldn't understand my attraction and I found myself thinking about her a lot despite the fact that we rarely saw each other. I was under the impression that she was flirting with me but I didn't believe it. At a recent party I made an effort to look for signs on her part and having not seen any I resolved to get this out of my head and move on.The very next night at my party she tells me forthright and clearly that she likes me and has a crush on me. It floored me, I was incredulous. I didn't show this and later on in the week I proposed we go out to dinner. She didn’t accept the invitation and invited me to join her at her event but some last minute out of town guests prevented me from doing so. After that weekend I suggested coffee and she replied that we should do dinner.The “date”(?) started off with her expressing her concern for the pronounced age difference between us (my early and her late twenties) that I wasn't aware of. It ended with her repeating this and how she loves her partner. I told her I understood but really I didn't and that was apparent. I had a wonderful evening and we shared a lot including how we've thought about each other and to my surprise her confiding that she's had intimate dreams of me. That coupled with her saying that she might be ending her relationship with her partner next week left on account of one of his personal problems left me confused at the end of the night. Again I said I understood but I didn't.I did what I felt was right. I arranged to meet her for coffee as soon as possible. I told her that my current situation wasn't constructive nor was it healthy and that I would like to put this in the past. She was very relieved. She was not expecting that her communicating her crush on me and her feelings would have such an effect. Last night, I didn't have the mental energy to tie the emotional strings and get things clear so that we could be comfortable in the future. All that remained on the table was an emotionally battered emerging friendship and two cups of coffee. This morning a wave of discomfort and awkwardness when we crossed paths and chatted reminded me of my unfinished work from the previous night.My brain is cranking away trying to rationalize all this and I am feeling better as the day goes on but I can’t help but feel like I’ve been whacked with a sledgehammer over the head these past two weeks. If I scratch my head hard enough I can answer my own question but I’m still absolutely dumbstruck. An outside opinion please?
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crush, flirt, her ex, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (20 January 2007):
 I don't think the age difference really makes any difference to the advice I already gave you to be perfectly honest.
CD
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat about her concern for our age difference?
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (20 January 2007):
 If you both have feelings for each other and she is going to break up her current relationship, wait and see what happens.
Be patient and give her space to sort things out. If her feelings are genuine, she will break up with her boyfriend and start seeing you.
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (20 January 2007):
She's confused. I think if she really wanted a relationship she would just finish with her boyfriend and be with you. As it is she's bored in her relationship and wants to incorporate some excitement. However it shouldn't be up to you to provide that. Tell her how you feel about her but how nothing will happen until she makes a decision about her boyfriend either way. Maybe she will pick him over you but at least that will give you the peace of mind to carry on.
CD
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