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She's trying to blackmail me, but it wont just effect me other people will be involved! Please advise what to do ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Family, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 March 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2007)
A male Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I would appreciate your help and advice on this.

my question is do you ever have to stand down your grounds if someone try to blackmail you?

lets say that action may effect other poeples and thier families emotionally?

I can't just back down my principle because one day I trusted my partner and told her somthing about my past relation, which was purely private, now we separated, and we have some issues which I need to take legal actions against her.

but she is threatening with the black mail of what I told her before, and what she knows about my past which could only hurt someone elses family.

it is really so low that someone can't fight fair and willing to go that far, it really makes me feel sick to even think that I was associated with that person (my partner). this attitude makes me more determine to take legal action against her, and fight right to the end, no matter what.

I really can't let go of this, and really need to do what is my rights and what I believe in. But I am also very concern about someone elses family to be effected as a result of this, who they have got nothing to do with us what so ever.

what is you advice please?

thanks

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007):

Never ever sit back and let someone blackmail you. She knows stuff, so what? What damage can she do? If she says things then let people know the truth and don't worry. Come clean with people because honesty is the best policy. If she persists then have a word with the police and tell them you are being blackmailed. They may have a word with her, depending on how bad it gets. But don't let it ruin or overtake your life. Maybe one day she will move on and have a life of her own and she won't want to interfere in yours. Anyway, how bad is the stuff she can talk about~?

Take care

xx

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A female reader, Midge United Kingdom +, writes (28 March 2007):

Midge agony auntBlackmail is the lowest form, honestly! Firstly I dont believe in giving into a blackmailer simply because if you give them what they want, they still have the information and will be able to do it again at a later stage. Stand your ground!

I know you say that other people will get hurt if the information gets out. Unfortunately this is going to happen, so you need to try and do a little damage control. Its probably best to go and speak to the people who are involved. Its difficult to advise if I dont know too much, but you need to try and lessen the effects of this information getting out.

I know it will be a very difficult thing for you to do, and something that you have put so much effort into making sure that this information doesnt get out.

If its that bad, and I'm not judging, then you need to speak to the people involved before hand to make sure that when they do find out about it, its not going to have as big an impact as it would if they found out from this person.

Sorry that I couldnt be more help!

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A female reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT United Kingdom +, writes (28 March 2007):

BEEN THERE DONE IT agony auntHi,

Obviously this is a private matter, but yes, your right don't allow someone to blackmail you.....

I don't know how this will affect another family but as you stated you have principles so stick by them, go with your gut instincts here babes, is it at all possible to tell this family what is happening? then you have the upper hand!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway hun, just do what you feel is right we are given all sorts of problems in life but honesty is the best policy,

Good luck xx

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