A
male
age
,
*m I crazy
writes:My girlfriend of about 4 months teaches ballroom dancing, and is still learning -of course. Overall, our relationship is good -- we acknowledge we love each other all the time. I don't dance, but that's ok.Here's the problem. Once a week she drives across town to take a private lesson at another studio. Although it wasn't a secret, it came out in conversation that she's taking these lessons from a ex that she was deeply in love with a few years ago. And that he's broken up with his ex. This guy was her teacher back when. She assured me I am the one, that I have nothing to worry about. But... it feels weird. Am I insecure? Or is it weird?(Mod note: OP's age is 60)
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female
reader, MSA +, writes (26 November 2014):
 I would ask to be able to accompany her to her lessons... maybe not every time, but often enough. Also of course, that she introduce you to her dance instructor.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 November 2014):
 I'd ask to be allowed to come watch, maybe that will settle your feelings?
Or maybe suggest that YOU could become her partner instead?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 November 2014):
If she's trustworthy then it shouldn't be a problem.
On an unrelated note, your not dancing could very well become a problem, especially as your gf gets more into it. Trust me, women who dance want a man who can dance.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (25 November 2014):
 I wouldn't feel comfortable about it if I was in your shoes, and your girlfriend really ought to go somewhere else for her lessons given her history with this guy. It's the sensible thing to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2014): If something was going to happen between the two of them it would have happened already.
Relax.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2014): I don't think it's weird, but I think it is disrespectful of your relationship. If I was in your gf's position, I would be prepared to end that out of respect of a new relationship, if it made my new partner feel uneasy. For me, I would not even start a relationship with someone that had private dancing lessons with an ex. I would say, "that isn't something I want to deal with, so if it is something you want to keep in your life, that is fine, but I won't be a part of it". That is just how I would see it for ME.
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