A
male
age
36-40,
*doran
writes:So been with gf for 5 years most of long distances. Back in Aug we moved in together I own the house and she was going to pay rent for $250 Month. With her not makes much money I said hold on to it and when u get better job you'll be able to help. Its been 8 months and shes given me $100. now she starts a new job in 2 weeks and I want her to help out. pay $250 or more with the bills and rent BC she live here. What's your advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): I don't really know how it works with both people working, but we started out our marriage when I still was in college, and of course my husband paid for everything. Actually I took care of paying bills, savings, etc. Then the baby was born, and I was stay at home mom, again my husband worked and it was our, not his money. What is the reason that you want her to help? Are you struggling? Or you just think that it would be fair? 5 years is a long time to know a person to be sure he/ she is not taking advantage of you. To be a woman is much more expensive than to be a man, I don't want to going details, but it's true.. Personal maintneance takes much more spending than it is for a guy. If she is a nice girl, and you love her, why not be a generous one and let her spend these money on herself. Sounds like you were ok for 8 mo ths just paying for your house and bills.With that said, if I was her I would definitely ask you now with better paying job if you want me to pay more. And believe me I would be totally appreciative if you told me: that's ok, sweety, I can manage, take care of yourself. Of course you do what you think you should do, you were quite generous and understanding of her financial situation, but I mean what I said above. Good luck.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (23 March 2013):
My advice is to be a big boy and use your words!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 March 2013):
 While my marriage is set up like SVC's I definitely recommend that unmarrieds NEVER combine incomes or share major purchases or bank accounts. Having her pay her share of the bills is only fair. She would have to pay that anywhere she lived. Sit her down and have a chat, she shouldn't have a problem with it unless she is just using you as a meal ticket.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): My girlfriend and I moved in together about a year ago after dating almost two years. We both share expenses but I never said you help with this and I will help with that when it came to the financial department. Like you I bought and paid for a home prior to dating my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I have set up different accounts and we both contribute to it. Sorry of course everything being joint. we have both been closer to each other than you and your girlfriend. My only hesitation is you being specific about what you expect her to pay and for what. Eventhough it has been a long distance relationship between the two of you I don't know if you shouldnt be a little softer on what you want her to pay unless you feel it isn't a issue.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 March 2013):
 sit down with her when the first paycheck arrives and map out a budget for the household. show her the expenses and figure out who pays what and why...
If you are living together as boyfriend and girlfriend then you are playing married people house... how would you run your home/budget if you were married? why would you make it different if living together?
my household runs on ONE checkbook... OURS.
both salaries go totally into our account.. all bills are paid from OUR account. I need spare cash it comes from our account... same for him....
on friday night after work we sit down and go over our receipts for the week... what I spent at the grocery, his eating out bills... things he bought for his office etc...
our incomes are open and transparent as are OUR bills.
some couples have joint accounts for household bills and give themselves an allowance for each partner.
if you want to treat her like your partner/spouse then her paying RENT is not a good plan she'll never be an equal that way...
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