A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I've been seeing a lovely girl for 4 months now. Shes 26 with a 1yr old from past relationship and im 36. We agree on everything and love each other. I always send her a text message every day to tell her how I feel about her and she always used to reply but lately (last week or so) its dried up. We talk on the phone and see each other and it all seems fine. She said the other week she's not been 100% happy but cant put her finger on why she sometimes feels down even tho she says she is happy with me. I have always felt throughout that if I didnt contact her she would not necessarily initiate the contact with me. Maybe I am reading too much into this...any views appreciated....
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with the line "You must feel as if you are giving and working hard to make things work and recieving nothing in return?" that is exactly right. I know that if i didnt text or phone her she wouldnt for a couple of days and then probably send me something to say "everything ok". She lives with parents at home and is juggling looking after a child whilst working part time. I accept she will be focused on this for the most part of her time, but I would just like to see a little bit back to re-assure me. When she had the child 14 months ago she did experience bursting out into tears for no apparent reason and that could be down to PND, but nothing since. She is still finalising loose ends with her ex (house gets sold on 1 sept) and maybe with this, new baby, new man, back living at home when she lived in a house with a partner for 4-5 years is alot going on. Still think its PND? or maybe something more?
A
female
reader, BuBbY +, writes (25 July 2006):
Perhaps she is suffering with postnatel depression. It can hit you out of the blue even when everything else around you and in your life seem to be good and on a rational level you know you are supposed to and should gain pleasure from them. Depression can do this, you will lose your interest in things that would normal interest you and often end up confised and frustrated because you cant quite understand why.I would take the time to have another disscusion with her, ask her how she is feeling about the child, her daily routine, perhaps suggest that she see a doctor?I appreciate that it can be quite a big knock to you when she doesnt reply or when you are feeling like she would not initiate the contact if you wasnt to. You must feel as if you are giving and working hard to make things work and recieving nothing in return?Do not balme yourself or try to take it too personaly before having another calm talk with her. let her know you are supportng her rather than feeling offended by her actions and this may indeed be what she needs to work out what is wrong and take some action.Good luck :)
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