A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok im not in love with my girlfriend but she's pregnant. Don't get me wrong i wana and gona give my baby everything she needs ( yes its a girl) but me and just don't see things eye to eye we argue a lot. Wat should I do cuz i wana be n my child's life don't wana be a dead beat farther. I mean i really wana be a good dad to her. But my gf just don't make me happy i mean she just don't give me that feeling that i need. I care about her but i just don't see it going anywhere. Basicly im not happy like i wana be but she really love me. I just don't have that feeling u know wat i mean that makes u go crazy like u just can't wait to see that person. NEED ADVICE Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): There is no point staying with your girlfriend if you do not love her. It will only hurt her more if you leave it later.
You should make it clear you will be there for her throughout her pregnancy if she wishes and still want to be part of the babys life.
You could just be feeling differently since you've found out she's pregnant? I suggest you consider why you feel this way. Have you been arguing more since the start of the pregnancy? Because that may not be your or her fault.
Either way, if you can provide financial support, you are entitled to be part of your childs life.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 November 2010):
 Okay, there might be something missing from this question. When you had sex with her, did you love her then? Did something happen that made you stop loving her?
If you loved her and are just running into her arguing with you, you might want to consider that her hormones are going absolutely haywire right now. Being pregnant is a serious shock to the system.
If you never loved her and there's no hope, the main thing is to be there for your daughter. Tell your GF that you want to break up with her, and tell her very gently. Reassure her that you want to be an active dad who takes care of your daughter's needs and will be there physically, emotionally, and financially.
I have a feeling that if you break up with her and she has the baby, there will eventually come a time when the only thing you'll do is miss her and kick yourself for leaving her simply because you argued a bit more than usual while she was pregnant. A little patience and tenderness and reassurance goes a very long way, regardless of your intentions with her!
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