A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am seriously in love with someone. I think about her all day and dream about her every night. She makes me feel like nobody ever has before, but we could never have a relationship for the simple fact we are best friends already. This sort of adds to the problem because I'm with her every day, all the time. I don't know if she knows and chooses to say nothing or she's oblivious to my real feelings but it's seriously eating me alive. I love being her friend, I really do. It just comes with so much pain because I'll never be more. I can't move on from this because I feel the only way I could is cutting her out of my life completely, but that is something I can not fathom. I don't want to lose her from my life, I almost feel as if just being around her in pain is better than not having her at all. I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): You can continue to live in abject misery wanting what you think you can't have or you can bite the bullet and try. Whatever happens you have to consider your friendship as it is over, this will eat you alive if you let it continue, how can you be her friend and watch her being held by other men, get hurt by ohter men or listen to her plan a night of sex with another guy all the time thinking you could be so much better for her?
Do what you have to and do it now, you should have said seomthing to her as soon as your feelings began to develop.
Girls like guys with courage, self belief and the balls to say it when they want a girl.
Trust me I've been in this situation a few times, the first time i did what you're doing now and ate me alive until I eventually cracked up and couldn't hold it back any longer, you don;t want her to find out that way.
The second time wasn't so bad, except i was stupid enough not to realize when she said "I'll try to love you back" that actually meant it was never gonna happen, you shouldn't have to try.
The last time I felt those feelings for a girl I was friends with, I made my feelings clear staright away as soon as I started to feel them.
None of those girls turned out to be interested in me too, which one do you think was the easiest to get over?
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (23 January 2010):
Man, been there... it's hard when you're friends with a really great girl (FRIENDS Only) and you start having feelings for her, and it's not mutual. The reality is that she's most likely to continue to seek a BF, and you'll be near by to see it unfold- hear the stories and be there when things don't work out, or be around a bit less when they do...It's hard- you can continue to be a friend, and see if you can keep your feelings in check- or talk to her and confirm that she simply doesn't see you a BF material. (IMO, once you're in the 'friend' box, you're not coming out, unless in that 1 in 100 times, she changes heart.)You need to move on, keep her as a gal-pal, but start looking for someone else who spins your crank- it's painful at first, but that passes. I'm still freinds 30+ years later with a girl that I thought I'd marry and went though a nasty divorce (between her and her husband - who she remarried, and now lives separately from).I was able to start dating, and found a wonderful woman, who I've been married to for nearly 10 years. Life is good, but there were nights in that first 60 days that sucked. You'll make it...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 January 2010):
You say that you're not sure how she feels. That means you haven't told her. So how do you know it can't be more if you haven't said anything! Tell her! It's worth a try.
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