A
male
age
30-35,
*kynetplus
writes:Me and my ex split up in march, she fell pregnant with my child and she is 4 months gone. We are trying to get back together or try and attempt but its going wrong all the time. We always argue, she never trusts me and wont let me do anthing without her. It seems she can do things but i cant for example she can talk to men but i cant talk to women, she can go out when she wants because im at work and after work i cant.Ive learnt to trust more from my previous relationships but i simply dont trust her. Shes always on facebook (i dont have it), always texting (she says she doesnt), deletes her email every day and then says i have to believe her. I really do not know what to do :( It drives me insane and the only way i can trust her is to stop her talking to blokes, get her to delete her facebook and change her email and number. But thats controlling.. Any advice if not im gonna stop talking to her unless its for the kid cos shes messing with my head even though she says shes doing nothing wrong.This is a healthy childs life at steak and i dont want to be the one who messes it up! any advice??
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 July 2012):
 You are right you cannot ask her to do all these things for you because it is controlling and that is just simply not a healthy relationship and not a healthy start to your babies life either. However it works both ways and she is stopping you from doing the things that she is doing, so it is time to put your foot down and say she is free to live her life the way she wants to therefore you are going to do the same. Do not let her stop you talking to girls or going out, because that is just simply not healthy either. You both need to learn how to trust each other and help each other through your issues, if you are both not prepared to do that then this relationship is never going to work, therefore the best solution would be to end things and just keep in contact for the babies sake.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (30 July 2012):
 HI
That is no way to be treated. Firstly she does seem like she is the controling one, yet willing to do just that her self. Firstly I would want a paternity test done for peace of mind, then I would suggest she see's a councilor for her trust issues and controling behaviour, maybe she was the one who was being controlled in a previous relationship and has learned this bad habbit. Unless this gets sorted out now I can only see this relationship going from bad to worse. It would be terrible for a child to be brought up around this, so unless you think you can both sort this out now before its too late, I would just continue to be there for your child ( if it is indeed yours) and move on with my life. If there is no trust there is no relationship.
Mandy x
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