A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I started an affair with a married woman some 2 years ago now although had worked with each other 3 years before. She was unhappy in her marriage and wanted to be loved. I was wary of getting involved since we worked with each other and obviously we were both married. For the first 10 months of the affair we were totally devoted to each other and talked of being together for the rest of our lives. However, neither of us could leave our partners due to the hurt and mess it would cause. Eventually, a year passed and she spoke about finishing the affair and going back to the way things were before. Yet, a few weeks would pass and we would come back to a close relationship and then a few weeks later she would want to cool it down again. This has been going on for over a year now. I still love her deeply and think she feels the same although am conscious of her inner conflict between her love for me and her duty to her husband. I am getting frustrated with the on/off relationship but don’t want to drive her away. I am good friends with her husband and she keeps saying that she will be with me when her husband leaves her. However, he has very few friends and is dependent on her. Am I wasting time in this relationship or should I hold on to see how it goes?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, scrazy +, writes (8 July 2008):
 I'm sorry hun, but this woman has no intention of leaving her husband. No matter how much you hope and pray, you're only her piece on the side and she's not going to give up having 2 men just to be with you.
My advice is to bite the nail on the head and end it yourself. What she's doing is obviously hurting you and its better to cut the ties and focus on making your own marriage instead of pining for a woman who does not love you as deeply as you love her.
xo
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 July 2008):
 From what you have said she sounds like she just wants a bit of a thrill in her life, she has no intention of leaving her husband and he obviously has no idea that his wife is having an affair with you. You also say you are married, so there really is no consideration for your wife!
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A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (8 July 2008):
 i wont give you the whole lecture, because i am sure you know it already, but if she hasnt left her husband yet, she wont.
you have to be careful before there is too much upset.
find yourself someone else (easier said than done i know) who ISNT married...
coz if she does leave her husband for you, she will end up cheating on you, and then how will you feel?
the fact that you posted this question makes me hope that you are serious about the chances of ending this relationship.
i hope that you get the best possible outcome for you and that you are comfortable with the choices that you have made. all the best love,
email me to let me know if i can be of more assistance.
xxxxxx
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