A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my girl friend for three years now and she has lied to me about her viginity for two years i love her and i cant live without her but i dnt trust her anymore what should i do please help Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011): It's not his choice to "destroy the love" or not. He is not in love with her and he never was. She presented a false image to him that is who he fell in love with.
He can't be required to automatically feel that same love for a different (and dishonest) girl now. It would be nice if it happens that way but he does not owe it to her.
A
male
reader, rouge  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Ask her. If her reason is reasonable, then give her a second chance. If it is not, then leave. Once a liar, always a liar. Cheers ;)
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (26 January 2011):
Well, as you have been told you should discard your entire relationship for just one lie.
In the other hand, this particular lie is not easy to oversee. I agree that talking is the only solution. If there is one.
You have to find out why she lied to you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): On the planet I'm from, we tend to ASSUME that a partner wants and expects honesty.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): If she said she was, and she is actually not one, did you ask her why she lied?
Also, I'm not sure guys know this, but a lot of girls break their hymen by accident:
1. Horseback riding, bicycling, high jumping, gymnastics or similar sports.
2. Insertion of finger or instrument by doctor during pelvic exam.
5. Tampon insertion
6. Masturbation
..etc
So if that's why you say she lied, maybe rethink the issue.
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If she is now telling you she did have sex with some one, communication is key in a relationship. Sit down and TALK with her. Ask her why she lied. She might have been scared or your reaction, or might not really wanted her first interaction, and wants to consider you her first because she loves you and is ashamed / regretful / scared/ or otherwise about what happened before she met you.
Don't distrust your whole relationship because of one lie made in the beginning. Just tell her you would value her honesty very much, and would appreciate if she never lied to you again cause you would have trouble trusting her in the future if it happens again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): There isn't much to do. You can't trust her. I'm sure she has reasons for lying but every liar does and it's still lying.
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