A
male
age
30-35,
*ajunkajunk
writes:So I have a dilemma with my current girlfriend and I'm not sure what to do. The problem I am having is I am getting a sense she is not all "there in our relationship". We have been going out for almost 7 months now. She says she is in love me and I'm a great guy and things like that but mostly if I initiate it or on like Valentines and holidays and such. She has never been the one to show a lot of affection. She has told me straight up she didn't think she would have a boyfriend because she loves the single life but she is really happy with me. Almost as if she is just settling for me. I asked her if I could meet some of her friends she said she didnt want to introduce me to any in case we break up so that i am not friends with her friends and get invited to the same place to makes things awkward. It is the summer right now and she tells me it's weird for her. We go to school in Dallas and live in Houston about 1 hour from each other. She says Dallas is one thing but in Houston it is weird talking about having a boyfriend in her "real life" as she says. At first I understood but now that it has been 7 months I would expect these type of things to dwindle. We get along very well and dont have problems like that. It almost seems as if I am much more comitted to this than her. Should I talk to her about it? She gets offended when bring things like this up and she says she isn't going to change for anyone but admits She would mad if I was doing the some of things I complain about. This hypocrisy drives me nuts sometimes. One day we had a really intimate and open talk about our relationship, for the next like, three days she was very affectionate and wanted to be with me all the time. After those couple of days she went back to herself and seeming like not really caring. I don't know what to do at this point. Please help. I am in love with her and don't won't anything bad to happen if I can help it. Also part of her thing is that she is very stubborn and independent so for her to admit that she misses me something like that is a big deal. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Katrananda  +, writes (20 May 2009):
This girl is keeping you out of her 'real life' and in a box where she can play with you when she wishes. She is keeping you at arm's length, and you are much more in this relationship than she is.
If she admits she'd be upset if you behaved like she did, then she recognises her own behaviour as unacceptable, but still continues.
I'm afraid, my friend, that it may be time to move on. You have so much caring to offer the right woman.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (20 May 2009):
 Young man,
You are being played.
simple as that.
She won't let you meet her friends? That's because she is dating one of those friends. she disrespects you greatly by this action. I know it takes the heart a while to catch up to the head. But read what you wrote...you are answering your own question.
If she keeps new people away it is for a legit reason in her mind(i.e. having sex with one of them), and not a laughable excuse like that. I would strongly suggest that you move on from this. Defensiveness like what she has displayed is the action of someone who is covering something up. You probably will never know the full truth. So Run away from her, and let her games be someone else's problem
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