A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for three and a half years now, and like any couple we have had our ups and downs. It is a long distance relationship, we are both from the same hometown, but go to different universities (4 hours apart). I visit her every two or three weeks and that never seemed to be a problem. However, recently she has decided she doesn't know what she wants in the future. She claims she still loves me but doesn't know if she even wants to be in a relationship with anyone. The problem is I've been miserable without being with her, haven't seen her in 6 weeks and I truly love her so I can't leave her. This coming weekend my plane tickets from spring break are out of ottawa (where she is) and i'm scheduled to spend the weekend with her and she still says I can come and we can have sex, but she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship. Anyway is there any advice I can have for winning her back this weekend. I still have her valentines gifts which I know she will like, but I want to win her back. Any help will be appreciated.
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 Any long distance relationship is hard as you dont get to see each other as much as you like. You seem to really love this girl but im not sure if she feels the same any more. I think that saying you can have sex when you see each other is unfair. If she doesnt want a relationship why would she say that. You say you want to win her back but I dont see how you can. You seem to treat her very well and love her very much but you cant do anything to make her love you. This has to come from her. If she doesnt feel the same any more there is nothing you can do, maybe give her a little more space to think things through. I know this will be hard but if you put too much pressure on her she may end things altogether.
Good luck
Aunty t
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (7 March 2007):
 You can't win back someone who doesn't want to be won. All you can do is make a heartfelt plea for her to reconsider. Tell her how much you've missed her and want to be with her but if she sticks by her decision try to respect her because if you stay friends there's always a chance of going back to being something more. Going away to uni is the most difficult time in your life because you're both meeting new people and finding yourself at a time in your life when you want to go wild and experiment. There's nothing wrong with that but it would be wrong for her to do all those things if she were still with you. If she won't reconsider try to understand her feelings. Right now it might seem like she's the only girl for you in the world but you'd be surprised.
CD
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