A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:judgement day .. my 22 year old girl says she will have an abortion on Wednesday. Her parents are acting suspicious as to the fact that she is pregnant. She is a christian(pentecostal family) she says she will do it. I am also christian. We don't condone abortions at all. For her to do this is major. I'm so sad. But I know she is going through alot too. All the pressure. It amazes me how easy she can do this. IS her decision really up to me, because she asked me what I want. I said I want the child. And she is still going ahead. Do i fight and convince her by encouraging her and loving her at best or be hurt that she is killing our child. We love each other. But love's not enough it seems.
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female
reader, cd206  +, writes (1 April 2007):
 You should definitely try again if you feel so strongly about the baby but you also need to realise that the final decision does rest with her and there's nothing you can do if the decision has been made. However, sounds like it would be worth a shot to try and change her mind but promise her you'll stand by her if she does choose to go ahead.
CD
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007): Alright, look. Yes it is her body that the baby is inside, but it is THE BABY'S BODY GETTING KILLED. If she makes the decision to have sex, then she needs to deal with the consequences. The baby is, by chromosomes, half yours. She may not be ready to deal with having a child, but killing it is no fair way to deal with it. If you want the child, you need to fight for it. Religion aside, this just isn't a right situation. She allowed you to get her pregnant, it is now her responsibility to deal with the consequences. You want the child, if she cared about you AT ALL she would respect that. The emotional and psychological ramifications are more than you can imagine. I have no idea what you should tell her. You might try talking to her parents - I bet that is one of the reasons she doesn't want to have the baby. Think about it, would her parents hate her for getting pregnant, or would they try to be supportive and keep her from doing something she would regret?
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (1 April 2007):
 You can't pressure her into doing anything. This is her body and she is the one who will have to make most of the sacrifices, both in the short and long term. I know you're hurting but think how she feels: this is in her body, she will feel close to it already.
I know you want the baby but you must both want this for it to work. If she doesn't and you pursuade her to have the baby, she'll resent you forever, you don't want that, do you? When the time is right for both of you, then you can think about planning a child.
Make sure she knows how you feel, this is your baby too, but be sure that you let her make her decision and stand by her in that. This is her right, no matter what religion says, and it's the lesser of two evils if the baby is unwanted. I know it's a horrible thought but if this isn't the right time, it's not fair on a child.
In future, to avoid this, maybe both of you should be more careful and protect yourselves against this happening.
Good luck
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