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A relationship with isn't going to work...we argue all the time. I need tips on how to tell him just that!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 April 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, *inktetris writes:

For a teenager, 2 years is a long time to be in a relationship. This 2 year relationship ended when we graduated and went to college 8 months ago. We are still 'friends' or wahtever you call an ex you sleep with.

I don't hang out with him wanting to sleep with him but he always initiates it and I don't like that he does, but for some stupid reason I feel...rude to deny him and I sometimes enjoy the sex after we get into it.

If we aren't asleep, having sex, or visiting our hometown and family, we're fighting.

He has these two girls that he's friends with at our school and for some reason he has to be around them every second of every day until THEY decide they're tired of hanging out and THEN he calls me- which is usually PAST my bed time. I usually call him FIRST thing in the morning- BEFORE he makes plans with his other friends- so that we can make plans to do something but he always choses them over me, saying 'i dont know if I'm doing something today' or he will make plans with me and then tell me 'sorry they want to hang out'. But when we are at home, he always calls me to hang out.

He wants to get back together, but he doesn't understand that I don't want to be with someone I constantly argue with, hate to be around most of the time, and someone who choses girls over me the way he does. I care for him, but our relationship cannot and will not work, but I can't keep my foot down about this decision because of how much I love him. I need help in telling him why I don't want to be with him- I have told him in plain english but for some reason he doesn't understand- and I need help in keeping myself firm in my belief of this unrealistic relationship.

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A female reader, so-n-love United States +, writes (3 April 2007):

so-n-love agony auntHi pinktetris,

I think you need to find friends to hang out with, or get another guy that you like and spend more time with him. Your ex knows exactly what he is doing he is playing games with you so he can have you wrapped around his finger. YOu seem like a smart girl, why would you let him do those things to you? And if you are fighting all the time why don't you just leave him alone for a couple of days? don't have any contact with him, and just sit and watch. he will be wondering why doesn't she call or come by, then guess what! you will be in control, you just need to drop him all at once, and let him crawl back, then you can be the dominate one. hope i could help!

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