A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently one of my good friends told me that a girl who is currently in a relationship with someone else is happy that I am heartbroken because of her. She is a very close and good friend of mine. In the past, she helped me out a lot in a lot of problems and we both like each other a lot even though we are so different .I just can't persuade myself to believe that she is happy I am heartbroken because of her. I can't prove it since I only heard it from my friend. Now, I am being very cold on her because of this issue. We don't talk to each other and send Facebook messages to each other anymore. She knows that I am hiding all my feelings when I am in front of her. Moreover, I started to kick her out of my Facebook friend list because there is a photo of her and her boyfriend kissing and there are far too much sadness in our messages. However, I am worried this would cause a huge problem between her and I. More importantly, I don't want to upset her since I still love her and care about her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advise.
I have never talked to my parents about it since they don't like me being in a relationship at this stage.
I will find out is it true or not.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (1 March 2011):
Let's see. She is your friend, you love her, and she's happy you suffer because of her.Well. You have to find out if this is true or not. Because you have to figure out what to do. And you can't go on without this piece of information.If she's truly happy about you suffering. You have to move on right now. You can't love someone who is happy about your broken heart. Loving such a person is plain self-destructive behaviour.If it isn't true, which I guess is more likely, you still have to preserve yourself and cut contact with her. At least while she's in a relationship with another guy. If you stay with her seeing how she's dating someone else you will start to hate her. And, as you love her, those two feelings will grow together. And that's a dangerous combo. Which will surely ruin any possible relationship in the future, between you and her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): Love and friendship at 16-17 is rather hard, hope you work it out. It sounds like she is either a little fickle, or maybe she just wanted you to make a move - you didn't and now it's too late in her mind. Timing is everything with girls, on the other hand perhaps you do not have anything to lose if she means a lot to you to try and talk to her openly about it. Until you know how she feels about you, it will be difficult to get closure.
The other option is to be patient and play the friend card and see what happens - I don't imagine this will make you very happy though especiall if it stretches into months or years of wondering if you would have been a good boyfriend/girlfriend or even if she could be the future 'one'. Have you tried talking to your parents?
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