A
male
age
51-59,
*matthews
writes:My X girlfriend broke up with me in August 2005. We had been seeing each for 4 years and living with each other for 2 of those years. During 2006 we got back together a number of times. It was her doing the hiring and firing as i desperately wanted to get back with and she knew it. During 2007 again, she got back with me a couple more times. If I be honest, instigating that first call was done in equal measure. In total between 2006 - 2007 she dumped me 14 times. She had boyfriends within this period an it seemed that when she didn't get what she wanted elsewhere she would come running back and like a fool i would take her back. It was a heartbreaking experience to say the least. However, I managed to move on and through 2008 - 2009 we have had no contact. However over the past couple of weeks she has been calling, and admitted that she is single and would wants to get married. She said that if she met a person like me she would marry him tomorrow. She said that with me though there's too much damage. I thought this was funny as she was the one creating all of the damage. However, i think she was saying this in order to get reassurance from me that it was okay and we could try again. I didn't say anything. I just listened. My family hate her for how she has treated me over the 2005 - 2007. My question is, do you think i should pursue her and do you think she has realised the grass is not greener. Or should i just ignore her calls and move on ?
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 July 2009):
 I think by insinuating that there is damage. She knows she has caused that damage but she is hoping you will forgive her and get back into a relationship with her.
It sounds like a sneaky trick...and how long before she gets bored again and goes off with someone else??. It's her mode of operation...it's how she is as a person and it will never ever change. She is maybe just having a lonely single moment and has come back to cry on your shoulder once more. If you do get back with her, you will never feel comfortable and will ALWAYS wonder when she's going to run off again.
You have had a year of no contact, thats a long time and a decent period of recovery from heartbreak. Are you really going to open up the wound again? with the colossally enourmous risk that shes going to hurt you again??
All the time you have dated her, you have wasted your time when you could have been out finding someone who truly loves and adores you. It can take a long time to be in a 'good' place after a break up in order to do this...you have a year under your belt already and an excellent chance to get the last laugh on such a manipulative scheming cheating idiot.
Hold your head up high, tell her to get lost and walk away with a smile on your face.
She is using you...walk!!
Aunty Em xxx
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