A
male
age
41-50,
*ogambo
writes:I am with my girl friend for 3 years and now i want to marry her, but she says she is not ready and she needs some time. I have left my parents, my country everything for her just to be with her. Since last 12years she was taking depression tablets and since August she gave up. Now things are going from bad to worse for her, if anyone jokes around with her, including me, or i say tell her anything which she doesnt like she asks me to leave and starts crying and wants to commit suicide and doesnt want to live anymore. I know all these things are happening because of the medication and she is not in her state of mind. Wat am i suppose to do, Leave her or stay with her, i cant stay with her because she doesnt want me to be with her. I love her so much and i know she too but her health is going from bad to worse. Please advice
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (17 January 2008):
 I agree with the other poster, with anxieties and fears. There must be something more going on that a bit of depression for her to break down every time she's joked with. I just read up on variations of depressive disorders. It sounds like one of the major depressive disorders. I'm not a doctor and do not make therapeutic recommendations, or recommend different medications from a doctor / patient prospective. I will say, if it was me, in her position, I would consider ECT (Electroconvulsive Treatment), also known as shock treatment. My reasoning for that is what a psychiatrist mentioned regarding this treatment. Taking drugs, you have a good chance of side affects, and internal damage if long term use is required. ECT has been studdied, and the results of that treatment are, 100% success rate, with 0 side affects. Good luck with everything
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Can you possibly encourage her to go back on her meds? I'm assuming that when she was taking them, they helped her. Also finding a good counselor might help her assess her life, and sort out paralyzing thoughts, fears, and anxieties. Before you bail out on her, sit her down and talk to her about this. Even print out material on depression and see if she'll read it. Often depressed people do not see their own behavior as clearly as those who are close to them so she may be in denial. I don't know if you're close to her family, but perhaps they can help encourage her to seek treatment and get back on her medication before she doesn't something terrible. One other thing you may need to consider is that she has fallen out of love for you. You may not know the answer to this until she's under control again. But if she's fallen out of love, she may be feeling guilty about uprooting you and now changing her mind has brought on her depression big time. Keep the lines of communication open and see if she will get help. Good luck.
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