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male
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anonymous
writes: for the past 6 mths my wife has been having an affair, she has now left her boyfriend,and says she wants to be with me,i feel like im being used!!after going away for the weekend together hotel shopping etc,,she has turned around and said to me that i had STOLEN HER MONEY ,when i transferred funds from our joint account to my single account,,even though this was to pay for the weekend away and rent etc,,,,,she also states that i had no right to remove her as a secondary card holder from my credit card,(MAXED OUT),we have been married for 9 yrs have 2 kids,and i have supported her in her career choice,she has just started working as a school teacher(last term fulltime casual),i work in a bank,and have chosen to be close to home to be close to my kids,she continually berates me for being tired and cranky,(i have sleep apnea)i work from 4:15-12 mon-fri,so i can pick up and drop off the kids to school etc,we have made these decisions together ALWAYS ,i dont no how much more i can take,,,,i tell her that she hurts me, but she continues to treat me like crap,i feel so depressed and worthless,,.....:(
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (4 October 2006):
 You forgave her for cheating on you and being with another man for 6 months and see pays you back with no respect or regret as to her actions, your not worthless seems like you have done everything you can to give this woman the life she has been demanding of you but everyone has a limit she is just constantly pushing yours.
You need to work out what you want from this marriage and then put your foot down and deal with it head on, you can't continue to be used like this and she can't continue to believe she can do and say what she wants to make you feel like this.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (3 October 2006):
 Hi dearie,
You are not worthless and shouldnt feel depressed about anything. She is the one who is lucky to have someone like u who is ready to forgive her and give her a second chance despite her affair.I think that is the primary issue here and everyother thing stems from this.
Perhaps u should think about your marriage and what it means to you. If u still love her then marriage counselling will be the best choice. THis is necessary since u are filled with alot of anguish and betrayal right now. You should talk to her calmly and let her know how u feel and why it is necessary to go for counselling.
I hope i have been able to help abit and I really do wish u all the best.i respect the choices u have made so far to handle the situations and your marriage. I know from your posting that your children mean alot to you.
Goodluck dear
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