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female
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anonymous
writes: I just need someone who can love me and care for me.Well where do i start,i left home 18 and set up home with my boyfriend,the relationship was very rocky but i carried on.five years down the line i had a baby girl unplanned but i was over the moon,i dovoted my life to the baby.my boyfriend started drinking and taking soft drugs,he had been doing this from day one really.anyway he became abusive to me.but i put up with it for my daughters sake.when my daughter was 4,he met someone else alot older than himself and went off with her.i was upset to begin with but was soon over it.As 4 weeks later i met a man who kept saying he loved me,and i let him move in with me.a year later i was pregnant with my son and things were great.we moved to a new house.and things were fine we had been together 14 years,the children were getting older and we started to drift apart,he was doing what he wanted to do and i felt left out.he was never a very loving man.and i did everything for him like a skivvy.sex became non exsistant.by accident i met this man,who did show me love and affection,i was stupid enough to fall for it all.he was in a bad marriage but wouldnt leave his wife because of his daughter.but it all got to much for me,and i confessed to my long term partner,he didnt care less.and later told me its because he was just using me for convience to look after him and keep things running in the house.So after 10 months we have decided to split.I've only got myself involved with another attached man only its killing me because i love him.i've been seeing him 5 months now.i just feel lost and dont know what to do.i'm 43 now and am scared of being on my own.i'm a very caring love person and want to share it with someone,who can love me back.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (4 October 2006):
 You need to break free of your attached man and get to know who you are again, at the moment you have jumped from one relationship to another losing yourself on the way.
Once you have sorted yourself out and worked through what you really want out of life you can then move on and start to see things differently giving you the time and confidence to find someone who can give you what you need from them.
Being involved with an attached man not only will there be a very small chance of you ever getting this man to yourself but once you have how long before there is someone else in his life as the other woman behind your back?
Good luck :o)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): I am very sorry about youre situation, but you are just setting yourself up for hurt. Married men are off limits. They use single women for sex while pretending they are about to leave their wife. Unfortunately they never do, and while he can go home to his wife at the end of the day, you are once again alone. Try dating single guys who are looking for commitment and not just sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): The only way you can possibly get the love you deserve is to learn to love and nurture yourself first try confidance and self esteam or healing hypnosis C.D's these will help you be happier in yourself They are only about £9 from bookshops listen to these at bedtime also make sure your eating healthey and regulurly try somthing a hobbie somthing that you have a passion for and will help you get a great network of new like minded friends you need to leave the past where it is and concentraite on yourself and your Kids and then when you've got yourself happy again Im sure you will meet a desent guy you seam like a luvly person and Im sure everything will work out for you Take care
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (3 October 2006):
 Don't be scared of being on your own, be scared of being a mistress for the rest of your life. Have some self respect and stay away from men who have wives! You shouldn't need a (permanent) man to have a great life but you don't know any different. Spend time on your own and get to know yourself propoerly, i doubt you've ever has the time. When you are happy to be alone, maybe then you'll be ready to date and meet single men. Spend time with friends and have some fun, but don't keep this vicious circle going or you will end up very sad and lonely.
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