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male
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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend has cheated on me and I dont know what to do coz I luv her and I cant let go despite what she has done. She says she luvs me and she does not want this to end thats whats confusing me. my question, can one cheat on someone you really luv? What are the chances that she will do it again if I decide to take her back. Was it a genuine mistake?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007): Take this as an honest answer please
I cheated on my BF, I was drunk and I can honestly say I adore him with all my heart and for days I did nothing but vomit. I told him and he was really hurt but we decided to give it another go. its gonna take him a long time to really forgive me and trust me but im prepared to wait.
To answer your question can someone really love someone and cheat on them?
yes, I love my BF more than life itself and I could never live without him, I made a stupid mistake and I will have to live with the hurt ive caused him for the rest of my life.
but i do truly love him, give your GF the chace to prove how much she loves you.
be happy xxxx and good luck
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): Leave her. You can always fall in love with someone else
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): im in the same boat i dont know what to do its hard just to forgive but you still love mine was whith three diffrent guys over the years and now i just found out and it hurts
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): Hello, if she really loves you, she will never cheated on you, but if she does and she ask you for forgiveness and another chance, I will advised that you give her another chance if you too really love her, cox that she have learnt from the past mistake, but if it happens again that she make the same mistake, please say your final goodbye to her.
Wish you the best of luck.
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female
reader, Manya  +, writes (13 October 2006):
VERY difficult question. I was raised around families where no one ever cheated, except a few people everyone
knew were unstable. But this is 2006 & complex, but still no excuse! But I know lovers who were forgiven & seems like you want to forgive,
too. Often cheating is a symbol of something wrong/missing
in a relationship. I would say you should find out what
that is.
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male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (13 October 2006):
 I was cheated on many times early in my relationship with my now fiancee. She realised how selfish she had been and begged for another chance to prove how much she loved me.
I gave her the chance and she is like a totally different person now, she makes me feel more loved than I ever have.
Best decision I made was giving her a second chance. She has since had many offers to cheat, yet remains faithful to me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2006): I don`t think you should take her back, i`v been in the same situation myself and as time goes by your anger grows. You become suspitious of everything and it totally destroys both of you. It`s a love and hate thing and once they`v cheated on you your hate is just 2 much. Don`t get dragged in because of sex it`s not worth it!! Take care dude!!
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (4 October 2006):
 Yes you can love someone and cheat on them, we all have different morals mine are that I don't cheat and never could no matter what situation I was put in or was thrown at me others aren't that strong or other things encourage them to cheat.
I've always believed everyone deserves a second chance although cheating is not on my list of things to forgive and give a second chance over anymore.
You can only do what feels right for you, you could give her a second chance and be back in this same situation again or she really could have learn't from her mistake and realised that she nearly lost you and that scared her into realising what you really mean to her.
I have forgiven people in the past for cheating one of them never cheated on me again and we went on to have a 4 year relationship the other just never stopped cheating til enough was enough and I realised I was a fool.
Some people can change if they want to or what they need to change for is that important to them.
Good luck, hope this helps :o)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): Don't trust her. She's demonstrated that she's capable of cheating now. Personally I could never be in a relationship with someone who's shown they're capable of cheating. It's a character flaw and one which isn't worthy of forgiveness.
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male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (3 October 2006):
 Yes you can love someone and cheat. I did. I'm not saying its right but it happens. There are a lot of factor that could have caused her to cheat. I just get tired of the line "Once a cheat always a cheat". Thats crap!!!! Its a mistake just like all other mistakes and people can learn from them. It brings about change and all change isn't bad change. The people who say that are closed minded befoones who use that line to justify their own pain and method of coping. This thing could be used to make you closer or realize true love. Don't let mindless poeple influence your heart because its yours. I once was that cheater and I love my ex dearly but she listened to those people like that and it did more damage than good. I hope this helps. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): Helen1986 is right. I seriously believe that when one person loves another, they could never, ever fathom cheating on their loved one. So if I were you, I would be questioning her character and her devotion to you. However, it sounds like you want to put this behind you. If you are still motivated to make this work, then you will need to forgive and move ahead. It really will take a committed effort from both of you. If everything has been discussed and sorted out in regards to this "cheating incident", it is now important to remember to not give the incident more power than it deserves, by dredging it up. As for your question, if she'll do this again? That's hard to say. some people do foolish things once and learn from it. Let's hope this is her mindset. Time will tell but I would be telling her, if it ever happens again...you will be walking. Good luck, dear.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): Was she drinking at the time, not that this is any excuse either? I think you can forgive and forget once without things being too badly affected. But if it happens twice then walk away. We all make mistakes but hopefully learn from them.
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female
reader, camille +, writes (3 October 2006):
 It's always a bad idea to cheat in hindsight but at the time, the lust probably takes over sense and people don't care about the consequences. It may be easy to cheat, it may be difficult to resist but I do think that you can love someone but still end up sleeping with someone else. However, I personally think it's unforgivable.
I don't think you can say whether she'd do it again. The fact she has confessed (I assume) and shown her regret and remorse, may make her more trustworthy. If you think about it, she's not likely to tell you if she planning on doing it again. And because you know, you're not going to be trusting her for a long time. Only time will tell.
I don't think you can say that it was a genuine mistake because that implies some sort of subconscious action. At the time, no-one was forcing her, she decided to do it of her own free will and so could have chosen not to do it but did not.
After however, when the guilt sets in, that's when she realised and that's when they she said she's made a mistake. The only thing is, it could have been prevented. She knew it was wrong at the time and so rather than being an error in judement, it was always the wrong thing to do and she was conscious of that.
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female
reader, Vixen_The_Vampyre +, writes (3 October 2006):
 Im sorry in my opinion there is no mistake when it comes to cheating. She made a concious decision to do what she did and it was wrong no matter what.
Now am I saying to break up with her or that she doesn't honestly regret what she did ? No I am not.
The question here is do you want to try and forgive her actions and can you go beyond what happened and progress in your relationship or will you forever resent what she did.
Good Luck !!
V~~V
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): If she really & truely loved you she wouldn't want to cheat on you with some one else...
Its gonna hurt you and more than likely your gonna find it hard to trust another girl again but don't let it ruin any future relationships. I would forget about her and move on with your life. Put this down to a bad experience.
Best of luck with what ever you decide to do...
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female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (3 October 2006):
 My personal opinion is that once a cheat always a cheat. If she really did love you she would never have done it in the first place.
If you did decide to forgive her the thought of her cheating will chew you up inside. You will always be worried about who she is with and what she is doing.
My advice to you is to let her go, no matter how hard it will be. I think you need to move on and find somebody who will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve.
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female
reader, kellyO +, writes (3 October 2006):
 Hi dearie,
I really dont believe in cheating is a mistake. Am afraid i am one who believe that if your partner loves and respect the relationship they have,then they wouldnt cheat. I try to look for love based on trust and mutual understanding.
I think no matter what you are thinking right now, you need time to sort out what happened. Give yourself time to think and decide. I know u love her but can u trust her? Can u forgive her? Only u can answer these questions.I know u wouldnt want to get hurt again so please take your time.Even if it is the harder of the two decisions u finally come up with it will be best to face it head on and move on.
Take care now and all the best.
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A
female
reader, Inferno +, writes (3 October 2006):
I think if this is a one off then quite possibly it was a genuine mistake. However, if she has done this before or this was an ongoing affair i would think twice before taking her back.
She quite possibly cheated as she has some insecurity or doubts about her relationship with yourself and maybe felt as if there was something missing. By having this affair she has answered her doubts and now realises that she has made a big mistake and only wants to be with you. So in answer to your question, it is possible to cheat on someone you love.
If you do take her back make sure you have talked everthing through and both know where you stand and your hopes and expectations of this relationship. Make sure that you are on the same wavelength!!
Lastly, you will need to build up the trust element from scratch. Don't obsess on keep checking up on her as it will possibly push her further away. Remember a relationship is nothing without trust.
I know this must be a really difficult time for you so i hope this is of some help
Good Luck!!
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