A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I honestly don't know what to do. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and we've lived together for the last year. I pay all the bills as she works part time and i work full time and everything has been going great. Last month she even asked me to marry her! But about a week and a half ago she said she didnt love me, fancy me or want to be with me so i went and spent some time with my sister. We decided to try again after she said she did love me and had only got scared but i then found out that she had been flirting with another girl behind my back by text all the week. When i found out i tried to dump her but she threatened to kill herself and swore she would never do this again as she loved me more than anything and could not bear the thought of living without me. Even though she has actually done this previously in our relationship i decided i would try again. Within 24 hours she has told this other girl that they could continue flirting as long as they were careful and i didnt find out. I have no problem with her beings friends with this girl but i cannot cope with the fact that she is essentially cheating on me. Emotionally at least! I absolutely adore her but i dont think i can cope with this any more. What should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2015): I really feel for you, it sounds like you've given her a chance before 'this chance' if that makes sense? In other words if flirting with another woman was a mistake then it would have happened once. By the sounds of things this has happened twice, and technically a third time as she's said to this lady that they can flirt so long as you don't know!Even if she had no 'intentions' with this lady she shouldn't be flirting with other people if she is with you. How would she react if you flirted? I bet she'd go completely mental! She clearly does not have much respect for you and you deserve better. Saying that she will kill herself if you leave her is blackmail, and a form of domestic abuse to be totally honest. It sounds like she has a lot of issues herself and perhaps you can't help her. The question that you want to ask yourself is what is best for your wellbeing in the long run? Good luck :)
A
female
reader, Ginger fish  +, writes (24 December 2014):
 I agree with Seagreen leave her and blockher from your phone, ssocial media, etc. I will be honest with you my ex pulled this one on me when I said I wouldn't get back with him (he did some horrible things to me and it was him who dumped me) and my Dad even did this to my Mum. Its all manipulation as soon as you turn your back and ignore it, it will stop (believe me) you need to turn around and run because it will only get worse as time goes on. It's the worse thing some one you love could threaten you with. By the sounds of it she's using you an that to will only get worse as time goes on as well. This girl wants to have her cake and eat ittoo andn by telling that other girl she can keep flirting as long as she doesn't get caught is showing that she feels no remorse. Don't let her take any more of your time, it's better that she showed her true colours now before you got married.
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A
female
reader, SeaGreen +, writes (24 December 2014):
 For your own well-being you should dump her and then block her from your life. Don't let her get away with manipulating you by claiming she will kill herself. Just ignore her.
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