A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I hope any of you can solve my problem. I am in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. I just wanted to end things with her due to many reasons. But I am just unable to get off my emotional attachment from her.(I am still in a relationship with her).I use to think, she will get another guy and I just can't imagine them romancing plus I feel lonely, alone.She has many friends, more guy friends then girls.I do not have any friends, I sacrificed all my friends for her!!She enjoys her life a lot i.e. College life, outings,movies,malls,lots of friends whereas I am at home, live with my parents and I am enrolled in a distance education program i.e. No college,no friends,no.enjoyment,no meeting of new people.I feel so much lonely and alone even by the thought of leaving her but I have to leave her for certain reasons, she makes me cry always..makes me feel insecure. Never takes me seriously. I am trying to improve our relationship from much time but finally I concluded I cannot tolerate her anymore,this relationship seems like a hell..!!So my question is I want to get off my attachment from her, how can I live alone happily.I do not like making friends over net.I just have TV, internet and studies. I have much work their, I also have to give a prestigious exam.Seriously need help..!! Thanks
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insecure, live with my parents, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 January 2014):
 she is manipulating you with her threats.
call her say "[her name], I know what you say and how you feel but it doesn't really matter, we are not going to be able to be a couple and work this out. I am sorry but this is goodbye. I will not take your calls any more. It's too painful for me. I wish you all the best in life. Goodbye"
THEN HANG UP and do not take her calls.
she's manipulating you and that's garbage. You owe her nothing but a clean break. If she can't deal with it, that is not your fault or your problem.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2014): People who threaten to harm themselves to make you stay required professional help. Allow her to seek help if she can't handle your leaving. It's all drama and pretense.
You really need to get out more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok sir, an update to the situation -I tried to break things off with her, yesterday only we had a fight. so I hung up.the phone saying we are not compatible for each other and all, said find someone else..I don't need anyone with me. I switched off data connection too..I skipped her frequent calls.too..(I only know, how i skipped her calls for so long, was feeling a lot of pain and heartbroken, but then also I didnot picked up.her call)so after she was calling me regularly, so I picked up.her call and thought I will make her understand clearly and will break things off. but sir, she was crying over phone so much that it melted me. I made her quiet. She said please be with me always, she will improve her habits for me,which I don't like. I was feeling better too, by talking with her.She pissed me off by saying, "please don't ever leave me (taking my name), I won't be able.to live..I will do something wrong to myself or will hurt myself. Please be with me always. I can't imagine my life without u"now I wanted to leave her too but scared by after effects.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2014): End the relationship quickly and politely. She has enough friends and a good support system. Unlike yourself.
She has maintained things this far for your sake. So it may not be as hard on her to breakup, as it might be for you.
You put too much into it, and you really need to get more practice having real-live interactive relationships. You're too old not to have had something more physically intimate and emotionally involved. You're almost a recluse.
Concentrate more on your studies.
You're distracted over a make-believe relationship that really has no substance; other than having frequent access to a regular chat-buddy. There is little fulfillment in your LDR; and you're more attached by force of habit than true feelings. So much emotional reaction without any touching. You're never in the same room.
Get through the semester. Then go out and make some friends. Get involved in social activities and hangout where other students hangout. You're too isolated.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 January 2014):
 I no it is hard to believe at the moment but you will get over this girl. You know this relationship is not working therefore end it and keep yourself busy with work. If you want to go and meet new people then join new groups or take up new hobbies where you might meet people with similar interests.
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