A
male
age
36-40,
*ames1648
writes:So I went on two dates with a girl I really like this week. The first went well. The second went well...until the very end. How can I recover (avoid scaring her off)?The Second Date: We went out to see a jazz show at a local bar. The show was great and we had a good time. After the show I invited her over to my place for a a drink. My roommates were around, so we chatted for a bit in the kitchen. I made us mixed drinks with coffee, resulting us being tipsy with the jitters. I put on some music and we talked for a couple hours. Finally, I plucked up enough courage and asked to kiss her. She said yes, and we made out for a bit. After making out with her for a short while I was overcome with emotion and was nearly reduced to tears. I opened up that my ex had not liked kissing much so and that I really liked her, etc.After a while she acknowledged there was another guy in the picture and needed some time to think. (He lives in another city). I get the feeling she might have been a little overwhelmed by me but overall handled it well. I thanked her for her honesty and thereafter wasn't able to recover my cool. I walked her home, gave her a good night kiss and said I'd drop her a line next week. I also apologized for my 'antics', meaning sentimental babbling toward the end. She said she had a nice evening and that was it.It seems to me that letting everything sit for 3-4 days is a good idea, but after that I'm not sure how to approach things. What would a good third date idea? Should I apologize again when I see her or just act like it never happened? Am I sunk already?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 January 2014):
 call her... do not wait 3 or 4 days... call her and ask her out..
don't overthink it. don't aplogize
just be yourself and be open and honest and flexible.
IF you are yourself and she is herself and it's working stop breaking it by over thinking.
I think worry about doing the right thing to make another person happy as opposed to being true to ourselves is what wrecks things.
I don't think it's a lost cause or what you did was bad.
Part of being in life is being emotional.
I would love being with a guy that was so happy to be with me that kissing me moved him to tears.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2014): Go with the flow. You can't get yourself too wrapped up in this lady anyway. There is another guy in the mix, and she is making her decision whether to even continue seeing you.
Never fret over a minor stumble or mistake. Make a polite apology, then leave it alone.
Dramatizing to emphasize your sincerity might draw sympathy. Last thing you need from a girl you're attracted to, is her pity!
You need to get your feelings under control. You also need to be able to handle your liquor, if you're going on a date. A lot can be judged about a man who can't handle his alcohol.
Here's another thing. Your ex is an ex.
Under no circumstances do you make comparisons; or recall memories of past relationships when with your current date. She will justifiably assume you're not quite over your ex.
Play it cool. Nervous guys give off uneasy vibes. A woman should always feel at ease with you. Self-confidence is very attractive to women.
Knowing how to make a flawless recovery after a dating faux pas is essential. Especially for a guy!
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (11 January 2014):
 No, you are not sunk. I think showing your vulnerability would make her like you more. A lot of guys seem to think that showing themselves off as this macho, alpha male is what is going to get a woman to like them...yes if you're into the superficial type of love, but if you are seeking a deeper connection with another human being, vulnerability is key.
SageOldGuy is right. You do not need to apologise again. Just a make a joke about it the next time you see her and laugh it off.
I hope she's the type of woman who appreciates the fact that you are willing to open your heart up to her. If she is then she's a keeper. If she's not, then she's not worth it, and you're better off with someone else. I hope she is the former.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 January 2014):
 DON'T APOLOGIZE (any more)!!!! It "sounds" pathetic and shifts all the "power" to her.... AND, she may not want it!
Let this (second) date go.... and pick up where you would LIKE to "pick up". Suggest any of the types of dates that you and she may have discussed.... go out together, and THEN see how THAT "date" goes.....
I believe that you are over-analyzing this...
Good luck....
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