A
male
age
30-35,
*illa_Kiwi
writes:Hi, really needing some advice,I've been with my girlfriend for 3 months now and she is happy to give me head and says she will have sex soon if i want it but she is very against me giving her head and/or fingering her and won't tell me why. We are both in our late teens and neither of us have done anything with other people but kiss.If I had to guess how much she weighed it would probably be around 50-60kg( 110-130lbs) and about 5' 9" and very attractive.Of course I do want to be able to give her head for my own enjoyment if not just to try it, but my main motivation is giving her the pleasure that she gives me and just plain old making her feel good. At first I thought that she might just not be ready for it which was fine but she is happy to do anything sexually for me so after talking to my close female friend(who doesn't know my girlfriend) I've started to suspect that she just isn't comfortable being seen from that angle or she might not know what to say or how to act while I'm doing it. Or very possibly she's insecure about her body as so many young girls are these days. Also when we talk about it she acts as though she's not sure it would feel good for her.In any case I really need some advice on how I could try and make her more comfortable sexually and/or just raise her self-body-image.Thanks
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confidence, fingering, insecure Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): I think that you should shower or bathe together - and when toweling each other off, you can playfully "be sure" she is dry "all over" - and playfully start touching her gently near her clit, etc.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): Sorry if i alarm you but what if someone has done something not so nice to her. I can not have a man pin me down playfully and i hate receiving oral because i was raped and forced into that. But if you ask her watch how you do it ok be subtle.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em  +, writes (14 September 2008):
 Emily's right, just reassure her that you think she;s beautiful no matter what - from any angle! It's good that you want to pleasure her as much as she pleasures you. Make sure you go easy the first time.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (14 September 2008):
Well it's very unlikely she will be ready for sex if she won't do any foreplay.
As you say, this is probably a self esteem issue.
All you can do is keep telling her how beautiful she is and how you want to make her happy.
Don't have sex with her until you have done other stuff first. It will be painful if she has never done anything more than kissing before. You need to do all the fingering and other things before you loose your virginity so you can learn to relax and enjoy it.
Good Luck!! xx
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