A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem with my girlfriend of five months. She's addicted to gay porn and it's getting out of control. She has always been very honest about her interest in porn. At first, this didn't bother me in the slightest as I watch a lot of porn myself. But now her habit seems to have gotten out of control. She has a whole closet-room stuffed with X-rated DVDs and every time I visit I find her watching porn. She doesn't bother to turn it off even when we're having a meal together and says it helps her to unwind. We rarely have sex as she seems more interested in her DVDs than me and it's driving me crazy. I know that she suffers from a compulsive disorder, which likely has a lot to do with this habit of hers, but things are getting worse and worse all the time. What should I do?
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male
reader, gayguy16  +, writes (8 May 2008):
 talk to her =D
A
male
reader, previasc96  +, writes (27 April 2008):
This is interesting! A female addicted to porn. It's usually the other way around. Maybe you should watch it with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Hi Hunny
There is nothing really I can add to what Irish has said as she has hit every nail on the head love, o.c.d is an illness and it can come in any form if she is saying that the porn relaxes her this could now be an o.c.d and she really does need help with that hunny.....
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/ocdaction/index.asp?id=67
This link may help you sweetheart TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): This is my opinion, on your dilemma. Male or female...people do get addictions and compulsions and that can wreak havoc on relationships, because in my books---a mature, adult relationship is two people who look after each other. They both need to nuture and develop the relationship, "equally". And this relationship is already unbalanced if you are stating "she seems more interested in her DVDs than me and it's driving me crazy". Your work is cut out for you because a relationship to an addict will never, ever be equal. She's gone overboard and pornography addiction is serious, hun. So right now, it's crucial, that you look after yourself, because, she will not be able to look after you. You will end up looking after her and you could become unhappy, in the future, if this relationship goes the distance. You will become like a sentinel and it will get stressful because she may not give it up, lightly. She needs help. She is fighting an addiction and addicts, no matter how much we see the goodness and lovability...they will manipulate, they will lie and be very sneaky to get what they want...that fix. So yes, you are smart to be aware and concerned. Addiction to pornography eventually does destroy relationships, by dehumanizing the addicted individual and reducing their capacity to love in a caring, meaningful way.
Boundaries will need to be laid out and consistantly followed through, by you. Doing this, teaches her to respect you and what you won't tolerate. Tell her to get rid of her large porn collection if she's to be in your life. You need to be tough and follow through. If you don't do this and she continues disrespecting this relationship, you will not be happy. This will always be a wedge un your relationship and could cause this relationship to eventually blow up. So please, do what is best for you...right now, before this relationship progresses any further. Ask her if she'll make efforts to give it up. She can do it but SHE has to do the work. Counseling might help her..so offer to help her find that. But she will have to be strong and so will you. But, my final thought is, if she won't help herself, you may have to ask, if this relationship to a compulsive addict is worth it. You may have to leave. It's a tough decision, and I am sorry. There is no other way. Good luck and take care, hun.
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