A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm uncomfortable around a fellow student.Ever since I met her she's been acting like an amorous school girl around me and she has a common law spouse. I pretended I didn't hear her or clue in to what I interpreted as "advances" but eventually I started avoiding contact because I didn't know what to do. A good friend of mine is also friend with her and so I brought this up. He reassured me that no no, that's just her personality but honestly...I think she treats me very differently. She get all nervous and asks "So we should go out and watch a movie, or concert or something" Me: "Yea ummm maybe [my friend] would be interested too" and I walk off...Me: Well there's this festival, maybe you should go. Her: "Oh [my name] you're tempting me" Me: "Umm, so I see you next time" Her: "Yes to the next temptations! haha :)"This last line after class last night had me thinking about all this over again but I don't want to sound like I'm delusion in front of my friend who thinks it's nothing"What do you guys think?This is an issue for me because I had an earlier experience where a fellow student with a bf came outright to tell me how she dreamed of me shopping for underwear and later she would tell me how how she dreamed sensual dreams of the two of us together. I had a huge crush on her so hearing this was driving me crazy. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and we went out for dinner (she's an adult right? she can make her own choices and she accepted). This resulted in her whole circle of friends ignoring me from then on like I was an asshole. So I'm very confused! Women are confusing! Is it just me?! Do I just not get it? I don't want to have sex . So I get my asshole friend with the "underwear girl" telling me I'm a pussy because I didn't just %$@% her and my other friends telling me I'm over reacting with the "temptation girl".Any advice,- Very confused.
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 I am sure. She is probably giving you mixed signals. It's possible that she does like you but even if she's putting out the bait, you must be WISE enough not to BITE! *LOL* The old FISH in the sea saga!
Stay your distance unless she becomes permantely available. It's really possible for someone to feel comfortable enough to do those things, thinking it's just cutting up. They don't mean any harm and sometimes they never even realize that someone may take it for real. I have been known t be that kinda girl. I am very friendly and I LOVE Everybody per say. I would never try to take anyone's man nor would I entice them to ever leave their woman. I just like being friendly. When someone is a good or close friend it is often a two way thing that seems like flirting. The fact is that even if there is some sort of attraction we both know how far to carry things.
Hopefully this gal won't ever step over the line. If she does........hooooooooo boyyyyyyyyyyy! Well anyway just remain cautious and let her true colors shine thru. In time so many people have realized that I am not a flirt, I only cut up with people who are familiar and comfortable enought to joke around with. PERIOD! Perhaps this is her intention, if not remember that even if she becomes single, if she's indeed been flirting with you, she will most likely do it again if you ever decide to talk her up.
My best to you always,
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. I brush all this off as nothing.I congratulated her on one of her successes in the hall on my way to a meeting and she blew me a kiss. It's that kind of stuff that confuses me. It does make me uncomfortable because it is a weird situation to be in...
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (22 January 2009):
Well it does certainly sound like she is fond of you. I can't say by fact that she wants you. The real truth is that alot of people are just very friendly and sometimes they do come off as being a flirt or comming on to someone. The person's personality makes the a real people person. They usually get along well with others and fit into social gatherings really well. Sometimes they are actually quite popular, except when someone else envies them and is jealous. That can surely make you confused!
I would suggest that for now you try to relax and take the nutual friend's word that this gal is just a friendly sort and means no harm. If she does like you , you can ward off her advances by being less available to her. I think that you are possibly giving her mixed signals as you brought up this conversation.{{ Me: Well there's this festival, maybe you should go. Her: "Oh [my name] you're tempting me" Me: "Umm, so I see you next time" Her: "Yes to the next temptations! haha :)"}} Perhaps she took it that you were asking her to possibly go ......with you! et it was a conversation left unfinished. PERCEPTION IS SOMETIMES THE FAULT FOR MISUNDERSTANDING. That isn't to say you are WRONG! It simply means it's possible that you two are just misunderstanding one another.
Her reply of the "Yes to the next temptations! haha" ,She could possibly have been REFERRING TO THE IDEA OF GOING TO A FESTIVAL! IT IS POSSIBLE THAT SHE INDEED LIKES YOU AND PERHAPS IS EVEN ATTRACTED TO YOU....BUT HER FRIEND SEES HER AS HARMLESS AND DOESN'T THINK ANYTHING OF IT. Maybe she knows because the girl may talk to her about things. You know how guys talk about us girls? Well maybe they talk. Maybe she says you are nice and all that but if she has a mate then if she's NOT THAT KINDA GIRL TO CHASE AFTER YOU WHEN SHE ISN'T SINGLE then chances are she isn't going to go there anyway. Fact and truth....Well the TRUTH IS ONLY SHE AND GOD KNOWS AND THE FACT IS WE CAN ONLY GUESS!
Lean back from this relationship that appears to be blooming. In time you will either see a FLOWER or WEEDS. If the WEEDS FLOURISH THEN YOU KNOW SHE IS OUT THERE TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH YOU.IF YOU SEE FLOWERS THEN ALLOW THEM BLOOM. REMEMBER THAT SOME FLOWERS LOOK LIKE WEEDS AND SOME WEEDS LOOK LIKE FLOWERS!
Take time to see this person as she really is. Don't be hasty in believing something just because you fear that it's so. It really could be a very innocent thing and she may really JUST WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND, WITH NOTHING ELSE IN MIND. In time you will figure it out. Just be careful not to give her any mixed signals about what your intentions are. It might help for you to talk to your mutual friend and see if she can fish a bit without making it look like you asked. That way hopefull no ones image or feeling will be hurt.
A FRIEND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO THROW AWAY. BE JUST IN YOUR DECISIONS AND ACTIONS CONCERNING THIS LADY. WALK IN THE LIGHT OF THE LORD AND HE CAN GUIDE YOU TO BEST WAY TO HANDLE THIS.
MY BEST TO YOU!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
In time
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