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male
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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend is away at school, and we don't get to see each other that much, only a couple times a month. It seems to me she's distant at times, never returning my calls or AIMs, but she always has time to go out with her roommates to shop, party, etc.With the effort that I've put into our relationship already, I feel she's not giving back the same. It's more of a give/take than a give/give type relationship. Also, I question her trust as well, when I had last seen her, she had about 5-6 AIMs from people that were guys, and she usually gives me run around answers when I ask her some questions about her friends and things like that.I have been open with her the whole time, to let her know how I feel, and she shuts me out. It's too the point that I feel she doesn't like me anymore. It's like she only likes me when I'm around. When she was home, she made a great effort to always be with me, call me, etc. She'd always tell me how much she loved me and how she wished she found me sooner. She put forth an A+ effort. Now it's more of an F.I figured I would have to adjust with her being away, but it's like she's become a totally different person since she's left for school. I'm picking her up Friday at school and bringing her home for the weekend, so we'll see how it goes from there.Is there any signs I can look for besides what I mentioned that she's not interested anymore or that maybe she's cheating? Just really confused.
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female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 I think she's taking you for granted and that's no good dear... you need 2 people to build a realtionship I have been to college in England and Spain and it's all teh same dear she's trying to experiement univerity life and there you need your friends as they become your family whrn you're alone it's not imposible to make it compatible with a boyfriend but.., not only your responsability and if she's old enough to be with you only a couple of times a month maybe she's old enough to go home from school in a bus? don't behave as a maid dear you're a man
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 September 2006):
 I would talk to her and tell her how you are feeling regarding this, it might just simply be that she doesn't realise that she is negecting you while she is away or it could be that she has got this other life at school with friends and studies to get on with this doesn't mean she doesn't want to be with you just alot of things going on while she is away where as when she is at home she can devote as much time to you that you need as there are no other pressures when she is home.
Only way you are going to know whats going on and see if things can change is if you talk to her and see what she is thinking and feeling and what can come of her knowing what you are feeling about things when she's away.
Good luck :o)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2006): Hey there, she is a totally different person, she is a college student..and she has a lot to get used to like life on her own and her life's work and path...this is a time of growth and change for her, and for meeting and making new friends of both sexes. I suggest you take a break from each other, not meaning end your relationship forever, but date other people, long distance relationships are never very viable, but it doesn't mean once she is done with her schooling she won't return to you, you just have to wait and see how it all turns out probably. You don't want her to leave her studies to be with you do you? That would not be fair to her, let her have some freedom and she will respect you more and probably miss you too! Hang in there.
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