A
male
age
26-29,
*diots
writes:Hey, I met this 22 year old girl online. We instantly hit it off and it turns out that we both live in Aus. We exchanged mobile numbers and have been talking constantly since then, the only problem that I have is that when she asked my age... I panicked like, as my name suggests, an idiot and said I was 21... I look old for my age, I've been told before that I look at least 19 if not 20... And she thought I looked that old in my pics commenting that I only looked like. 20 year old or something and it was cute... I just don't know what to do, I've really started to like this girl and she's shared the sentiment... She has a lot of stuff to do this year, but wants to meet up at least by the end of this year, by which I'll be 17 and she 23...I'm just afraid that once I tell her the truth shell hate me and never speak to me again... =( Please help me on my endeavour to finding a solution to my problem... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Idiots +, writes (8 January 2014):
Idiots is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told her, and she seemed more shocked than anything else, she, instead of having an angry response, told me that she had started to develop feelings for me. But now she wanted to wait until I was 18 to explore those feelings.... Hopefully all goes well. If it doesn't then it is merely my just-deservings.
Thank you all for your responses and any help that you have brought forth was greatly appreciated.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (6 January 2014):
 If it is meant to be, it will be, even with the truth coming out. If it's not, or if she chooses to leave because of the lie, then you have to accept it as a consequence of your actions. But if you really like this girl, then your being truthful is what she deserves.
...............................
A
male
reader, Idiots +, writes (6 January 2014):
Idiots is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn Australia the age of consent is 16, therefore there isn't anything illegal about a relationship between her and myself unless she is a teacher or a guardian of someone older then me, but under 18. She is neither.
I've already told her that I need to tell her something important tonight, I didn't want to potentially ruin her day, as she had to go to work, and this will allow her to think on it. Or sadly, possibly outright resent me from then on.
Thank you for your responses.
...............................
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (6 January 2014):
Tell her the truth.
Nothing more to say.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2014): I think you intentionally deceived her, and when she finds out; she will be angry with you. Rightfully so.
Do not go online setting people up and lying. That's totally unfair; and you could cause them legal problems, if 16 is not the age of consent in your country. Even if it is, she thought she was talking to someone close to her own age, not a kid trying to get attention.
You didn't panic. You were purposely dishonest. Now be honest and fix it. You just don't want to lose her attention.
The longer you take to confess, the angrier she'll be with you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2014): im not sure what you can do to get the outcome you desire, but you really should tell her. Im close to her age and id be really mad if a boy your age was pretending to be older. theres no way i would knowingly date someone that much younger and youre setting her up to feel really dumb if you dont let her know sooner or before she catches feelings. In the US, thats illegal and could put the adult in the situation in jail.
...............................
A
female
reader, lookingglassx3  +, writes (6 January 2014):
Tell her now (and I mean now!) while the relationship is still in its early stages. The worst thing that you could happen? She's either mad with you for lying or finds the age difference uncomfortable and ends things, in which case you will come to realise that, long-term, she clearly isn't right for you. The best thing that could happen? She's okay with it and forgives you for lying, and you live happily ever after. You cannot keep up this lie forever, so confess now. Accept that she'll most likely be angry, upset and maybe a little confused. Respect her need to think about things.
...............................
A
male
reader, Idiots +, writes (6 January 2014):
Idiots is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAdding onto my previous response: We've both stated that it was the personalities that we found most attractive in each other... If that helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2014): Please tell her the truth! lying will only make her angry and **ss her off! she is a grown woman and you are a teenage boy, she will not like being lied to. Getting romantically involved with you may also land her in trouble with the law.. you are underage
You don't want that.
Be more adult and tell her you panicked and that you are 16, she may be ***ed & may never speak to you again, but.. at least you have been honest, don't lie again,learn a lesson, it is hard to be honest at times but the truth always somes out eventually
...............................
A
male
reader, Idiots +, writes (6 January 2014):
Idiots is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI apologise, I was already going to tell her the next chance I got I.e. when she wakes up... What I was meant to ask if there was any way to make it easier for her to accept the age difference... =\
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 January 2014):
 Be honest and tell her now. It might make a difference for her, but LYING... that will end it faster then you being younger.
Grow a set and man up. And in the future don't lie. LIES have a way of coming out one way or another.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2014): You should tell her and explain why you lied at the beginning, because she'll find out sooner or later. And the more the time passes, the angrier she'll be. She'll probably understand.
Besides, you could show some maturity about admitting it instead of... you know... acting like a clueless 16 year old.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2014): Frankly, when you tell her, yes, she'll probably freak out a bit.
I mean come on, you're under 18. That's not even LEGAL. And you're still in high school and she's probably in college.
Sometimes age differences can work out, but unfortunately I don't think this is one of those cases.
I suggest you tell her and cut your losses. Then try to find someone closer to your own age.
But maybe she can still be your friend in an "older sister" kind of way. And maybe one day you could be together…but that time is certainly not now!!!
...............................
|
