A
male
age
30-35,
*u5tS0m3Guy
writes:I've been doing some online speed dating to fire up my social life. Recently I met a girl (and fellow foodie). It was almost too easy to small talk my way to a date this Thursday. The problem is, she is 18... She just finished highschool and is still thinking about what to do next. Meanwhile, I'm 25 and soon to have 2 degrees. Am I a creep for talking to her? Should I even try to be friends? I can't imagine we have much in common aside from liking food.On the other hand, I've got a baby face (I look young) and I fit in better with the undergrad crowd from my lab than I do with my fellow grad students.
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male
reader, little buddy  +, writes (27 November 2018):
Age should never enter into the equation of love. I say, spend some time with her and find out how you really feel. She might be impetuous and possibly never had a real love before. So don't fall too far until you have ascertained how much love she is offering you and how much is infatuation.
You might just be an 'older man' crush. While you feel stymied by her youth, she may be bragging to her friends how she has found an 'older' man who loves her. Tread lightly for awhile. Be more concerned about her feelings than your own. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2018): The word 'creep' is used in some very unfair ways. Are you stalking her on social media? Catfishing her in some way? Do you secretly have knowledge of her whereabouts? Have you followed her? Do you have some of her underwear at your house that she doesn't know about? That would be creeping.Or did you meet her in a legitimate situation and find that you get along well and are both happy to meet again? That's not creeping. Some might say the age difference means you're a creep but that's just a stigma.Some girls prefer older guys, that's a fact. A friend of mine who is 38 is married to a girl in her mid twenties, and they're fine.If you've met a girl that you like and she's into you, there's nothing to worry about. Go and see how it goes- don't worry about the negative opinions. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't. But I know there's a lot of guys out there who'd be envious!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2018): I noticed you wrote it was almost too easy to small talk and get her to go on a date? What are you insinuating, you think she might be easy?
No the age difference doesn't make you creepy but if you feel she is too young and immature then unless you are that way as well there may be obvious differences...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 November 2018):
 It's really not about how young you LOOK, but how well you two are suited.
You say you don't want to be a creep, my guess is because you FEEL a little like a creep?
You wrote:"It was almost too easy to small talk my way to a date this Thursday." Well that statement shows that you recognize that she isn't very mature or experienced. Though maybe, it could be that it was so easy to "get her" to go on a date because she fancied you?
I think at this stage (for her at least) 7 years is a BIG gap. Doesn't mean it can't work.
I do hope you go slow with her and let HER set the pace. Especially of she is NOT very experienced in dating and guys. And I think you need to make DARNED sure she IS over 18. Because she wouldn't be the first person to lie herself a little older to catch a guy's eye.
Do I think you are a creep? It all depends on how you meet her and if you knew her age BEFORE asking her out.
So if you had been trolling a high school parking lot for a date, then YEAH high creep factor. Since you met her online, she is OBVIOUSLY looking to date and knows that guys older than her will probably look at her profile too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2018): She hasn't decided on a college or what to do with her life. Getting romantically-involved with an older-man when she has little or no relationship-experience could prove a challenge for her. Much depends on her level of maturity.
The only problem is if a romance develops; then goes south. Her inexperience with dealing with someone with such a head-start in life; could prove emotionally-devastating. Breakups with someone her own age is hard-enough; but it would be easier for you because you're emotionally-mature. You might only want to chat about food; but that's not likely to remain her only interest.
Then there's the issue whether her parents think you're a creep. Do you know for sure she is 18 and not lying to you?
It might be general consensus to just put age-difference aside; but young people are so influenced by, and addicted to, social media. They don't always have a firm grasp on reality. They have difficulty dealing with challenging emotional-situations; and breakups or rejection affects them deeper. Due to limited personal-interaction and exposure to people; which often leaves them emotionally-defenseless and easy to traumatize.
Another questions is, how much of a food oficionado can an 18 year-old kid be?
They don't usually have the financial means or sophisticated palate to dine at the better restaurants. If they are wealthy enough to do so; their parents will vet your background like you're applying to serve in the Canadian Security Intelligence Service. I know I would!
If you're sensitive, level-headed, and her parents will like you; there's no problem.
She might develop a crush; and you can't just brush her off. It's going be a little more difficult than someone in your age-group.
Her parents, particularly her father, may prove to be your nemesis!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (21 November 2018):
 Why would you view yourself as a creep for talking to a young adult woman? Is it the "just out of school" thing which is freaking you out a bit, or the fact that she is still a teenager?
Go on your date. You may find you have little in common and it will just be a one-off. On the other hand, you may find you have lots in common (females allegedly mature faster than males) and, once you get to know her better, you may feel more comfortable about the relationship.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (21 November 2018):
 18-25 is pretty much ok. Mostly based on the idea that you can't keep 18 year old females away from 25 year old men. Some things to think about are, her readiness for a permanent relationship. In this time many 18 year olds have not really dated. My kids averaged 3 dates in high school (probably less). On the other hand my kids are close to your age than your female friend. If you are up for a 5 year on and off relationship, this could work. The more likely scenario would be you being her first long term relationship lasting 3 to six months. and there is nothing wrong with that. after all being male you have no biological clock if you marry at 35 you have lost nothing.
EXCEPT
And this is the really interesting part of your post. The creepiness factor. You see you not a creep for talking to her. You are a creep because you are male. With every year that passes your creepiness increases. And it's exponential growth. The creepiness factor going from 20 to 25 is maybe 5% But going from 30 to 35 is 40-50%. Creepiness is an ethereal quality only detectable by younger women. There is little you can do to affect your creep status. Money and position won't matter. Your best bet is to be Cool and Interesting. And interesting is the better of the two.
I don't think there is a problem with you dating a senior fresh out of high school. As long as you realize that you are investing your time with a low probability of return (depending on your life goals).
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (21 November 2018):
 I wouldn’t say so no.
7 years difference isn’t a great deal but the thing is that it has the possibility to have you both at some point feel like you’re at completely different stages of life. I suppose you are now to be honest and you need to think about that. I know it’s early doors but if things went well and it got a bit more serious, you could get to 30 and be ready for kids whilst she’s 23 and nowhere near, would you be able to move past situations like that? I think that’s the main thing to focus on.
But to answer your question no I don’t think you’re a creep but I’m sure other aunts and uncles will have different viewpoints.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (21 November 2018):
 You’re not creepy for talking to her, but you are too old for her, in my opinion. You’re at two different life stages and she’s only just starting her adult life. I think you’d be her first serious relationship and that’s a lot of pressure. I think trying to be friends would be okay, but only if there’s no flirting, no dates and you make it clear you’re only interested in friendship with her.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (21 November 2018):
 I wouldn't say that you are a creep. She is legally an adult and you are only 7 years older. There is no harm in talking to her. That way you will find out whether you do have more in common than just being foodies. There's no harm in having younger or older friends and age difference relationships do sometimes last. You will never know unless you try.
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