A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Been with my girlfriend 4 years, and she still wont tell anyone about us. She says people know because they are not stupid and they guessed about us, but when they ask her about me she denies we are dating.All my family and friends know about us, but as they live in a different town to her friends and family, they are unlikely to ever meet and exchange notes.She says she wants to wait until we are getting on better before she tells anyone, but the reason we fall out is because she is keeping me a secret from them and not including me in that side of her life. And as time goes on we fall out more and more about it, which then makes her less likely to tell anyone. I cant win.Of course we cant live proper lives as we have to watch were we go and what we say to people in case her friends and family see or hear about us.What should I do; carry on like this in the hope it might get better or, find someone who doesnt mind people knowing about us and allow us to live our lives together? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 I'm sorry but I think if a person is dating you they should be happy to share it with their family and friends. If they hide you away it does not bode well for the relationship.If after 4 years you are not getting on all that well I doubt time will fix that.
A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (4 April 2011):
I have been with my girlfriend for over 4 years.I didn't told my family about her after 1 or 2 years into the relationship [she is my first girlfriend]. Also, my girlfriend has told her sister, and her father. Not her brother or mother [her mother will torture her]. So far, 4 years after we got together, she have still not told her mother about us. I have not pressured her [as she pressured me to tell my parents about us].It is very frustrating. I can't simply go to her town, and invite her to anywhere, because she needs to find a good lie to get out of her home to be with me, and her mother is very intrusive with her life. [By the way, we are in a long distance relationship].I really can't tell you what to do. On my relationship, I love this girl, and I'm willing to wait until she decides to tell her family about me.If she has a good reason for not telling her parents about you, then I think you should trust her.
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