A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When she rejected me, she said she still wanted to be friends and wanted nothing to be awkward, but now i feel that was a lie. I tried for a friendship with her for a few months, and she didn't put any effort into it. I gave up a little more then a month ago, and she only talks to me when she needs help or advice. For example,she asked me to jump her car yesterday, because she or her friend had no idea how to do it, she didn't thank me and the next day she didn't even talk to me.I am a kind person and can't say no. I feel like being friends with her is just tearing me apart. it drives me insane and feels like torture. I complete stopped trying for a friendship, or anything else with her. I don't talk to her, call her, or text her unless she starts the conversation (usually because she wants help, and i cant say no to helping someone) All i want her to do is leave me alone. Was this wrong? Did i make a mistake? what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, XxAngelDust89xX +, writes (8 October 2007):
 Tell her straight up. A friendship between the two of you is not going to work and will be unhealthy. It sounds like she is just taking advantage of your kind nature and you need to put a stop to that.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 October 2007):
 For starters, this girl is no friend of yours. She is simply using you, and, sorry, you're the one letting her walk over you.
There is one thing you can do: tell her to her face that she only comes to you when she needs something, and that you won't accept that treatment anymore. These magic words will work the charm.
My final advice is this. You deserve to be respected. People should respect you of their own will, yes; but, if they won't, you need to grow your own claws and teeth and demand it. Otherwise, no one will ever respect you.
Take care. You're a very good person and will find someone better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): It sounds like this girl is using your kindness for your weakness. You sound like a very nice guy that will find that special girl. It is best to be forth right and tell her to leave you alone during this time of transition. You are still coping with the breakup. It's not easy for you. Or she may be playing with your mind. She may want you back however, she wants you to act in desperatation of terms of"harrassing her" of needing you. High school girls tend to play a lot of games. Be careful. Avoid her and use alternatives way of ignoring her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): I know what your thinking. What course of action can I take that might end up with her changing her mind about me? The BEST thing you can do is to stay away from her for awhile. Don't answer her calls and especially don't be her personal tow truck driver (jump her car). You say that you can't say no. Well, then you better get comfortable being her buddy and watching other guys date her. If you keep showing up when she wants your help, that's exactly what will happen. Girls like the chase as much as we do. Make her chase you by not being avaliable. I would say to ignore her calls for at least 6-7 months.
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