A
female
age
30-35,
*_M4ever
writes:Here are a few questions in one.My ex and I still hvae some of a chance to sometime get back together. We had dated for 8 months and then he broke it off because he didnt have the feeling. I know him very well and know he went through a confused state of mind.He now got back with a differnt ex and has been dating her for 2 months and recently had a major fight and he broke it off and then they got back together.My thing is he has now cheated on her abour 4 times with me but she doesnt know. The first time was soon after he has just gone out it seems, i didnt know until after. I told her but she wouldnt believe me and all my friend said I was crazy and that I was just jelous so not to believe me.Since then though he did contuine. Like am I the only one who takes the sign somewhat of, you still like me?Also I really feel its not fair to her to not know what he has done but he wont tell and I dont feel its right if I tell and that everyone wont believe me anyway. Should I or should I tell him to tell her?Also rocky relationship? The two of them fight contantly like everyother day they get into a fight.I guess im just getting my feelings out, im so cnofused though how to get him to want me?Please dont take that question bad im saying like from a distance, we are still good friends but I want to be more again.Please help thanks, especially to the last question
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female
reader, M_M4ever +, writes (4 December 2007):
M_M4ever is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone this has been cleared up and long gone now. I actually talk to her now as a friend(shes now his ex though again). I've also just changed myself around completely into a better person bc i was reflecting on how stupid and bad ive been and I cant loose these friends cause they are all I have....i dont go to normal school.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Gosh, hun...you should rethink all this. Don't ever interfere in another persons' relationship again. That's a pretty low down thing to do, don't you think? Sweety, I know you are a young adolescent and you have so much life learning to do yet. I am tryingto understand why you want to do a real wrong thing to gain some immediate happiness at the cost of someone else's pain (his gf) You want to BUST them up, so you can get the guy. Now what do you call that? I call it a bad case of self-interest, dear and it's wrong. The friends who told his gf "you were jealous and not to believe you." These friends were going behind you and cleaning up your mess. Now by still wanting to do this big wrong, anyways...what does your actions tell all these friends of yours? What does it tell everyone you know? It tells them that you have no qualms about 'choosing' to cause pain and hurt to other people to get what 'you' want. It also tells them that is that..when it suits you, you have no values, you will do this again and again. And when that happens, you are no longer a quality friend...instead, you become a threat and a liability to all the people you know. They will never trust you. This guy is young and he's dating another female. But he has cheated with you. Both of you are confused and acting very, very selfish. Why is that? Because both of you are young adolescents trying to cope in the 'world of dating', by doing bad things. He cheats, you cheat with him and you steal other female's dating partners, not very commendable character traits, is it...for both of you. Face the truth about your bad behaviors and just make a choice....and go find a good feeling about yourself, by always keeping your dignity, and displaying compassion and respect for others. Leave them alone and move on.
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Why are you still interested in this guy? He has a girlfriend. Why would he break up his relationship with her to be with you? What would be the benefit of getting himself into trouble with her? You have accepted his cheating ways, and he knows that now. He is having his cake and eating it too. He tells you they fight all the time well if that is the case why is he still with her? What does he tell her about you? Maybe she does not believe that he is cheating with you because he told her that he isn't interested in you anymore. Just somethinmgs for you to think about. Instead of playing tug-of-war with her you could be investing your energy into having fun with your friends, meeting new people, and possibly finding a new boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 She's not likely to bealieve you for two reasons;
a) you do have an interest as his ex and one who is still interested in him, she will see that and anything you say will be tainted in her eyes by bias.
b) people often wont accept what they dont want too, what i have said above gives her the perfect reason to not dismiss something she would find hurtful if it was true
I think you can talk to him and tell him you feel uncomfortable but I doubt that will spur him too action, what you really should do is tell him that he cant have you until he's broken up with her. This situation isnt fair on her or you because right now hes probably enjoying the best of both worlds, he has her and you. You will be doing everyone a favour if you do that because if they are always fighting then it's not exactly a happy relationship by the sounds of it. Proceed with caution and take care of yourself :)
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