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male
,
anonymous
writes: About 3 months ago my girlfriend of three years decided to end our relationship for reasons still unknown..we bought a house together and had been living there for about 8 months when she came home a few days in a row and said she wasn't happy..Around the same time I found pictures of her and some "friends" of the male sort hugging and kissing her on the cheek..I was very mad and I left the house..we have talked on and off and in the beginning she said she wanted to work it out, but she needed time..we didn'talk for a month..she didn't call me for my birthday, valentines day, ect..a few weeks ago i got the rest of her stuff out of the house and left it on her parents front porch with a flower and a note..she called me to say thank you and that she didn't want to have any issues with me and that we should talk...i called her back a few days later and said we should meet up and talk face to face (haven't see her in 3 months) and she says she doesn't feel like it, don't ask her to meet spontaneously, ect..she said she doens't want a realtionship now, but it doesn't mean she doesn't want one in the future with me, she says she wants to start talking again, ect..said she would call , but it has been another 2 weeks..this girl left with me with her cat, fish, ect all which she loved dearly..and has never asked about them? i also found out while living with her she was on zoloft..how can someone go from saying i love you one day, caring about the house, our pets, ect..to telling me a week later she is over our realtionship already and doesn't care if i have to sell the house, what i'm going through, ect..it was out of the blue and ended really without a word..i'm confused and still upset 3 months later
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female
reader, Mariels +, writes (21 April 2006):
Hello mate,My boyfriend has just told me (like you, after buying a house together and living there for 8 months) that this is not what he wants. He is not taking any medication though, but he has left the property and left me to deal with selling the house or whatever I'm supposed to do with it. He is definitely going through something - he is not happy with his life but I know that is his problem and not mine. I could not save him and protect him from difficult situations that life throws at us. My point is, you can not help some people, they have to do it on their own. As much as you love them and you want to make it work, it's like you're in a boat which is filling with water, and your rowing as well as trying to scoop the water out, and they're freaking out and rocking the boat so it fills up again. You can't live like that. Your partner has got some issues which only she can deal with. The medication is such that she feels 'numb' - this takes away the intense emotions associated with depression, but leaves her such that she has no emotion. It will be a long process before she is able to recover. She may not even know the cause of the depression. Just remember you have done nothing wrong. It's just unfortunate that this has happened. But don't struggle in that house by yourself. Make arrangements to do with it what ever is best for you, whether it's selling it, renting it out etc. You have to think about yourself as well sometimes. Don't hold out for her if you really can't forsee how this might pan out. Look after yourself xx
A
female
reader, Softie +, writes (20 April 2006):
 Hi, Your problem seems a bit harder to give advice on. However, I would like to give you a bit of information. "What is the FDA warning all about?Depression is a serious medical condition, which can lead to suicidal thoughts and behavior. A combined analysis of 9 antidepressants has prompted the FDA to place a warning on all materials related to antidepressants. This analysis showed an increased risk of suicidal thoughts and behavior from 2% to 4% in people under 18. This risk must be balanced with the medical need. Those starting medication should be watched closely for suicidal thoughts, worsening of depression, or unusual changes in behavior."The Q and A in quotation is right off of the product website for Zoloft. Although there are plenty of things in her life that could have caused the change of heart. I think there is a good chance that the cause for this breakup really could be unrelated to you.I am sorry I couldn't provide you with more information or advice than this. Good luck and I do wish you find happiness.Softie
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