A
male
age
30-35,
*alciumBirdy
writes:I used to go out with this girl who was my rock. She meant everything to me and still does to this day.The problem was, i cheated on her with this other girl that we will cal sophie for arguements sake. I cheated at the beginning of the relationship and lied to her about it for a year to stop her from being hurt until she found out and made me pick between her and sophie. I tried to compensate saying how sophie was my best mate and couldn't chose. So she said i broke up with her.8 months later, and very little contact, and i have a new gf, but i still cant forget about her and i still love her. What should i do?It kills me seeing her on the internet and destroys me when i find she's been talking to my mates and not me.For the first time in 8 months i'll admit i want her back. But i don't know how.Any advice would be amazing right now.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Hench +, writes (27 June 2008):
If I were you, i'd talk to your ex, let her know you still have feelings for her, before it's too late! Thats if it isn't to late already!
If she went out with you for a year, she is guarenteed to still have some feelings for you, how them feelings evolve depend entirely on how you treat her...
I also think you should finish things with your current girlfriend, as it's not fair on her if you don't really want to be with her, and want to be with someone else...
But yea mate, go for it and tell her how you feel, use the fact your breaking up with your current girlfriend to prove how serious you are, but if you know in your mind what you want, go for it mate, it's better to be turned down that once, then live a life of regret init mate...
'In Life You Gotta Take Risks'
Liam x x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): if you didnt want to hurt her then why did you try to compensate saying how sophie was my best mate and couldn't chose?? surely theres your answer!!! why did you even choose sophie over your girlfriend!!!?????? i dont understand!!
if you loved her, then why didnt you choose her?? you shouldnt have lied to her!?
to be honest, she would be crazy to go back with you, i wouldnt understand why my 'boyfriend' would choose another girl he cheated with over me?
just let this situation teach you something. if she meant everything to you, then you wouldnt have done it, lied and then not choose her. you made a mistake, learn something from it. move on in your life and treat the person you love with respect next time.
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A
female
reader, elizabeth1986 +, writes (27 June 2008):
Well, its true that you dont know what you've got til its gone. Its terrible that you cheated but it happens sometimes when we have weak moments. Im an old romantic and say try and get her back!! First of all apologise and admit full responsibilty for what you've done. Tell her exactly how you feel about her and possibly buy her some really nice flowers. People say "you can't buy love" but the gesture wont go amiss!! Show her that you mean what your saying.
But.... you really have to mean it, it wouldn't be fair to hurt her again and I bet that if you get back together it won't come without a lot of insecurities, and you'll need to do a lot of re-assuring. And it might mean cutting the ties with Sophie to make her happy. If you are prepared for this then go for it! If you really still love her then try and get her back.
Think long and hard first though, make sure your not just having feelings of jealousy as she's chatting to your friends.
Good luck with this, I hope it works out for you whatever you decide and I hope this helps!!! :-) xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): She obviously was not the one for you or you wouldn't have screwed some other girl behind her back then refused to choose between them. All you wanted was your cake and to eat it to. And now you're "killed" and "destroyed" - that's Karma come to bite you on the ass, mate.
And now here you are toying with yet another girl you don't really care about and wasting her time, too. Do your current gf a favour and break up with her so she can be free for someone who actually cares for her and isn't so selfish and untrustworthy. And do your ex the favour of leaving her alone. She, too, deserves a guy who knows how to treat a woman better than you obviously do. Quite the ego on you.
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