A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, bear with me please, as this will be a long question, but i really need help. I broke up with my boyfriend two years agp. We were together for a year and a half. He was violent and jealous. But i went back to him several times during these two years. I have moved on the past couple of months, and now i am with an awesome guy and i love him. My ex has also been in a relationship for about a year or so now, but they broke up a couple of months ago. I have seen his ex girlfriend around before, but today she talked to me. We talked about him, and she said he was violent with her as well. My problem is that she still loves him, and she is going to talk to him and say that she met me and found out about something he was not admitting, that i confirmed to her. What should i do? If she keeps contacting me? And what if he tries to contact me? What is wrong to talk to her?
View related questions:
broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex, jealous, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 February 2013):
 I don't think you were wrong
if he contacts you, you do not have to take the call or answer the text or email.
and if you want to be friends with this woman, I see no problem with it if you have stuff in common. if she is in the middle of trying to leave a violent man she may need the support of someone who she knows understands... that's you.
if you can be there for her I would do that...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2013): thank you everyone for your advice!!! i really appreciate it!
...............................
A
female
reader, femmefemale  +, writes (22 February 2013):
I say if he calls you don't speak to him.
If she calls you then try to help her get out of the relationship if that's what she needs. Try not to be too involved.
I know you shouldn't meddle in peoples relationships but what happens if one day he takes it too far and kills her? Is it fair to let another woman go through the same abuse you did especially if she is reaching out to you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): No you weren't wrong, who gives a crap what he or what she does with her life. Just stay out of contact with them, don't respond if they contact you either. Stay out of it basically.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): It usually happens that girls who used to date a common ex-boyfriend, end up mingling and gossiping about him, and ending up being friends...Well if he is as violent as you say he is, my advice to you is to be aware, and not to get farther involved with the girl if she still loves him. You did your part and told her to watch out for him. If they contact you, well just be honest with your ex about what you said to her, since they broke up (if he asked about specific questions, just answer them, not more, maybe less, that is if you wanted to avoid trouble and get away with the least damage), and if he threatens you, well all you have to do is get in touch with the police, and back yourself up with friends who can stay by our side, or sleep over for some time or whatever... As for the girl, just make it clear to her that you don't want any trouble, and that she should inspect and make sure about what you told her earlier , and that whatever you said about him in the past is strictly out of personal experience, and nothing more. And if she really went and told him about all this, then you know you have to stay away from both of them, and let her agonize with him until she tastes bitterness...
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 February 2013):
No it wasn't wrong, you have no reason to be loyal to an abusive ex. If he tries to call you don't answer! What would be the point of letting someone like that back into your life?
...............................
|
