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She was forced to get married, but I can't get her out of my mind. Please help.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Family, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2008)
A male India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'm from India. I'm 25 and was in a relationship for 4 years. I love her so much that it hurts to even think of her now. She loved me too. In fact she probably loved me even more than I loved her. Unfortunately her parents were against her marrying anyone outside of their community and so when they found out about us they forbade her to see me. She didn't listen to them and continued to see me and we even made plans for running away and getting married, but a month before that her parents saw us talking on the road and they got so angry that they took her home and didn't let her leave the house for a month. In that time they shouted and hit her and cried and begged and did everything they could to make her change her mind about marrying me. Finally her mother said that she would commit suicide if she got married. Finally after a month of agonizing waiting she called me and said that she had changed her mind and that she did not want to get married to me, but she also told me what had happened in her house. I was devastated and pleaded, cried, and shouted at her but all to no avail. I even asked that we meet in person to discuss this but she wouldn't agree. A month after this phone call her parents forced her to marry someone from their community and now she is pregnant. This was exactly a year and 2 months ago and I'm still not over her. I cried for the first 3 months but then felt a little better, but even now when I think of her I start crying. Sometimes I just feel like screaming and breaking this facade of being calm when inside I'm hurting so much. Please help.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the responses. I don't think about her as often nowadays but when I do it still hurts as much as it did a year ago, especially when I hear a song that she liked or go to a place where we used to hang out

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A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2008):

BigSis agony auntMy heart goes out to you, this is such a heart rendering story. Unfortunately this sort of thing is going on all the time. The emotional blackmail that her mother used, was a wicked thing to do to her, but sadly there's nothing you can do but to try and get on with your life.

All i can suggest is that you cherish the loving memories you had with her, and as hard as it may be, you must move on with your life.

You will meet someone else one day, but for as long as you are grieving your relationship with her - you will stop yourself from moving on.

Be strong, and i wish you all the best.

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