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*ake22
writes: My girlfriend recently broke up with me. We had been going togetherfor the last year and half. We had seen each other almost every day inthat time period and had a very affectionate relationship for a while.She had a known about me and wanted to meet me for sometime andthrough a mutual friend, we started talking and almost spontaneouslystarted dating seriously. Now I am trying to figure out what wentwrong. About 6 months into the relationship she began having anxietyattacks. It started taking a toll on the relationship as it started tochange her attitude. About 3 months ago she started taking medicinefor her anxiety and broke it off with me saying she needed a breakbeing that she didn't know how strong she felt about me. We got backtogether two weeks later. When she started the medicine she wouldsometimes be depressed and still get the attacks. A month ago she saidshe needed to break it off due to 2 reasons: 1. she said she neededtime to figure out her own life and be able to get over her anxiety 2.she wasn't sure I was the guy she wanted to marry and that she lovesme but wasn't sure if she's in love with me anymore. We are both 25and many of her friends are getting or had gotten married. I neverasked her to marry me, but we had spoken about it and had agreed thatmaybe in a few years we would, earlier on in the relationship. I haveonly spoken to her sporadically in the last month and haven't seenher. She is a girl that I could have seen myself marrying as I carefor her deeply. The last time we spoke I told her that it would behealthier for both of us if we didn't speak at all. In thatconveration she said she isnt interested in dating anyone else rightnow, but is concentrating on her own life, and still left the ideathat if its meant to be between me and her it will happen at a latertime. I am confused as to what the real reason was that she broke itoff, as the relationship went down hill with her anxiety issue. Iquestion if other issues were the real reason the relationship didn'twork. Thanks for listening and I would apprecaite any feedback as I ambeginning to try and move on. The problem is every day I wake up Ithink of her in my dreams from the night before. It has happened everyday of waking in the last month. I care for her dearly, but think itmay be time to move on...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2006): Hello there. This sounds very familiar since I have recently been suffering a similar experience. I met this girl last year through a social activities group, but only spoke to her occasionally. About 2 months later she suddenly stopped attending the group and gave up her job because she was feeling run down and depressed. She was taking anti-depressants. I didn’t have her number or know where she lived so couldn’t contact her.
Then in May this year I met her on the bus. She told me she had tried to commit suicide on Boxing Day last year and that she could barely face life. She also had been going out with a guy from August til April which didn’t work out and put her off men almost completely. Nevertheless she asked me to ring her and we met about twice a week. We agreed to just be friends. I told her I really liked her and she said we should let things take natural course. We got on really well and suddenly 1 month ago she cancelled a pre-arranged night out at just 3 hours notice. She claimed she had to look after sick neighbour. I have not heard from her since and have been very worried about her. I think she is having some kind of breakdown and feels too afraid to talk about it. I would marry her in the future if things did work out.
I think your girlfriend might be experiencing something similar. I have met girls before who have been depressed and have for no apparent reason suddenly lost contact and reappeared a few months later. I can’t imagine exactly what you must be feeling but my experience sounds similar, although not as severe as yours. I take it you have not heard from her in the last month. It is utterly unlikely she is seeing someone else since she would have told you. I think she needs her own space. Also you should think about yourself too and keep in touch with your friends. I hope you hear from her eventually. Hope this answer helps since it feels as though you are the only one suffering.
Good luck
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