A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with this girl for 7 months and we had been discussing marriage. All of the sudden she changes and blows me off for about a week. Next thing I know she says she likes another guy she has hung out with like 3 times but never done anything with. Then after showing her a video I made of us and reading her a letter I wrote she pulls me on top of her and we kind of become intimate again. The next morning she says it wasn't a mistake but she won't untag the pictures of this guy being all over her and won't just let things go back to how they were for 7 months. She wants to be single. Please help, I know she wants this, but I don't know how to make her realize it on a basis that will last. While I feel she should be the one begging for me back and she'll admit it. She won't do anything. I on the other hand would do anything to make sure we were together. How do I spurn the love of my life into action down the right path? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe problem is that she is the one who suggested marriage. She is the one who said no matter what I will always be yours. She told me today that she knows in her heart she is supposed to be with me. Its like I know the same thing but she wants to try to have something else just to be sure. We have been through something similar before but she decided not to go through with it. I know for sure for sure if shes not the one than love does not exist. Its just an unconditional love that is hard to explain. The only problem is if she ever did fall for this other guy or sleep with him or anything like that, I could never take her back. That is why I need her to realize this before she does something to lose what she says she wants forever.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe problem is that she is the one who suggested marriage. She is the one who said no matter what I will always be yours. She told me today that she knows in her heart she is supposed to be with me. Its like I know the same thing but she wants to try to have something else just to be sure. We have been through something similar before but she decided not to go through with it. I know for sure for sure if shes not the one than love does not exist. Its just an unconditional love that is hard to explain. The only problem is if she ever did fall for this other guy or sleep with him or anything like that, I could never take her back. That is why I need her to realize this before she does something to lose what she says she wants forever.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): I've been there, it hurts wanting to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you. You can't make somebody love you or be with you. You have to man up here and make a decision, do you want to be her fallback guy in case the other one doesnt work? or should you move on and try to find someone who truly deserves you? if I were you, I wouldnt be anybodys fallback guy. I'd want to be the entree, the main course and the dessert, If you get my drift. Leave her alone maybe she'll miss you and come back to you on her own, if she doesnt she was never yours to begin with!!
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (26 May 2009):
 Give her time and space, if she does want you deep down suffocating her isn't going to help you win her back. Girls want what they can't have, so go out and enjoy yourself let her live without you talking about settling down and having kids!
She's still only a kid herself let her enjoy her life without you being all needy and clingy, that's not attractive!
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A
female
reader, mitta +, writes (26 May 2009):
You cant force anyone to have feelings for you or to realise they want to be with you. If it was this easy, there would be someone bottling up the solution and selling it and millions of hearts would be unbroken.
But unfortunately its not possible :( She has made her decision, and the fact that she wont make any effort to reconcile with you shows that she is determined to stick to her guns. She may have been flattered by your letter and video, and wanted some affection. But she obviously doesnt want to be with you.
You may feel desperate to get her back at the minute, but this will pass. in fact if you got her back it would be fantastic for a little while... But then you will just remeber how she treated you badly and start to resent her for it, and doubt that she really loves you at all and think she just cam back because you nagged.
There are plenty of girls out there for you who wont treat you badly, who you wont have to forgive and try and forget about all the bad things. She is not your perfect girl if she treats you this way.
ypu are both young, take a leaf out of her book and try being single for a while, you might like it and learn something about yourself.
Hope this helps, stay strong. Remember what you want.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): The idea of marriage probably frightened her. She's probably not ready to commit herself, thats why she left. She might be confused at the moment so give her a bit of space. If you do like her a lot then maybe try and plan a surprise for her but she might the one for you.
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