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male
age
51-59,
*allbloke
writes: My girlfriend looks at other men and says that she looking for this 'wow' in a relationship. I said 'well you obviously aren't getting that with me then' and she didn't deny it, instead she said that she didn't trust me because my best friend is a dog and because I've told her about things I've done in the past. I've told her that the things I did in the past were in the past and that I'm much older and more mature. I've also told her that I don't agree with the way my mate behaves and that I've even broken friendship with him because I didn't like the way he treated women. I can't help but wonder if she just brought this trust thing up because she didn't know what else to say. She's always going on about how she likes someone who's strong and commanding/dominant alpha male, well that isn't me!!I even said that if she didn't like the way I am then I didn't mind if we broke up.I did say that I'd be upset, but I was OK with that decision.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007): Look, from the limited info you've provided, this girl clearly isn't right for you. It would cause you further heartache if you stay with her. Yes, the initial break-up will be painful no doubt, but better now than linger and drag it on with no positive future.
A
female
reader, nicola79  +, writes (26 February 2007):
 I couldnt agree more, its not fair on you to here her going on like this all the time.
Also yes,whats the point staying in a relationship when she wants you to be something your not.
Find someone who loves you for you and not what she wants you to be. You are not playdoe, you cant be molded.
Please for your sake do say something. Let me know how you get on. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, tallbloke +, writes (26 February 2007):
tallbloke is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been feeling insecure recently because of all this, so I probably haven't been as happy and jolly. There's been times when I've been with her and I've felt quite angry and upset. I've probably gone quieter than usual due to this sometimes. Today though, I started thinking about all this & decided that I'm not going to make myself unhappy thinking about it all, it's not worth it.
I've decided to tell her straight.
I'm going to say this,
'I'm happy with me, if you don't like me then that's fine. I'm sure there's lots of girls that would. I'm happy with my moral attitude, I know that I am honest and can be trusted & if you don't trust me then that is an issue you need to deal with. I'll discuss it with you and try to reassure you if that will help. I have feelings for you and I would like to think that we've got a future. I've got my whole life ahead of me, if you don't know what you want then say so now and let's not waste any more of each others time!'
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A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (26 February 2007):
I dont think she knows what she wants,you seem a lovely person and cant change the way you are.
Dont be a pushover with her,itss not your fault how your friend is with people and she needs to realise this.
Yes you are right,what you used to be like in the past is your past and no matter what you do you cant change it, and if she cant come to terms with this then its her problem not yours.
Ask her why she is saying she wants someone dominant and that it upsets you to here her talk like this because she should be happy with the way you are with her.
Maybe she is wanting you to finish the relationship and if so she is a coward, there is not much you can do im afraid so you either sit back and let her be this way or you tell her she either wants to be with you or she doesnt?
I hope things work out for you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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