A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Ok guys heres the deal ive been with the same girl for over six years. I love her more than anything and we have been engaged for 6 months. We got together young she was 14 and i was 17 and until recently i was the only person she had ever been with. i found out four days ago that she has cheated on me three times in the past seven months the first time back in our home town the second on a study abroad trip to argintina and the most recent being this weekend with a fellow Army rotc cadet who i thought was my friend. she says that all except the first time she was really drunk and that she is sorry but she wants some space. she never hit the party scene until this summer on her trip to argintina and she says she wants space so she can party and not feel guilty if she accidentally sleeps with someone again and she says she wants to get this out of her system before we move farther in the relationship. i have told her that i forgive her but it will take time to heal,and that i still want to share my life with her she says she wants to be with me to but not exclusively right now. she also says that i should party and explore too. Oh i forgot to mention that we live together and i take care of her by paying all the bills and cooking her meals. we have been talking civily and for the most part getting along and i understand that she hasnt gotten the chance to be free as a young adult. we still share a bed and have had sex since ive found out i love her so much and i dont want to lose her but i dont know if my heart can handle having to go through what it would take to stay with her. i would apprieciate constructive advise can someone with a similiar circumstance please help me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): I agree with everyone else-you need to kick her out. Getting together young is not an excuse for what she has done. There is no excuse. If she truly loved you, she wouldn't want to be with anyone else, she certainly wouldn't have cheated on you three times, and she definitely wouldn't want to sleep with even more people! She's being incredibly selfish and immature, and has no regard for you or your feelings. You need to get her out now-before you waste any more time, love, or money on her.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 January 2011):
Ditch her! Now. She's cheated three times, and now expects you to wait around. I would't touch this girl ever again! She might bring diseases, and she will continue to cheat and make a fool of you.
By the way, the fact that you're paying for all this makes this worse. I think she's using you as an ATM card as well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): i dont know if this will help but i started dating my boyfriend when i was 17 and he was my first and i am 20 now and we are still togeather and i think all the time what it would be like to be with someone else but the thought of cheating on him or leaving him just to have some fun is not going to happen. i think if you love someone then you dont have to get the "craziness" out of your system. if i decide that i need to go out and have fun then thats my choice but im not going to bring the [erson i love down with me and your girlfriend shoudnt eaither. it is very selfish that she exspects you to sit and wait for her while she go's out with other guys. its like she wants her cake and wants to eat it too. its not fair to you but maybe your best choice would be to let her go. Maybe you will find someone you love more and if you and her are ment to be then you will have the chance to get back togeather...i hope this helps you!
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A
female
reader, desta101  +, writes (28 January 2011):
im sorry but if ur in it ur in it. you are going to be getting married, thats a massive step. the fact that she has done it three times is just wrong and unforgive able. once is a misstake third time well yeah. my partner has cheated on me once and i still am not over it and that was 1year and a half ago. it will not get out of ur head, u just need to think if u stay in this u might be living in fair that she may do it again as ur trying to move on in the realationship. its the hardest thing ever to live with
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A
female
reader, Milagros18  +, writes (28 January 2011):
 Your too valuable to be left as a side dish. Don't let her play with your emotions. Some one that loves you wont have the mind or heart to cheat on you, she did so obviously she didn't care to loose you or not. Now she wants a break and come back when ever she feels like it? Wow that says alot about her character. Don't let her fool you any longer, you should pick yourself of the ground and move forward. Don't let her mess with your head, be strong for your own sake. Have some dignity, no one deserves to be treated like a toy. She's just putting you on the side for now till she finds someone that she thinks is better. Please move on for your own good, you need to understand you don't need someone like that in your life. Make a wise decision keep getting burned or keep away from the fire. Best of luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): The cheek of her!!! She waits 6 years, moves in with you and gets engaged to you, then decides she wants to sleep with other people, and then expects you to wait around for her while she does it!!!!Get out of this now! Let her go and you move on!She obviously has no respect for you at all!
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