A
male
age
41-50,
*ackyly74
writes: im a 33 yr old who has a realtionship question--i met a girl on the internet--it was supposed to be only a friend with benefits--but we clicked the first night we met---after the 3 rd time of hanging out i was staying the night--we continiued seeing each other---as time went on i found somethings out---for instance i new she was going through a divorce--its was a 10 yr marriage--the guy controlled her, manipulated, lied and cheated--i knew this! she is taking cymbalta, and lithium--for depression and bi polar--its really hard---you deal with a insecure person--one minute they want you the next there is no hope for the future--i stood by her and supported her-she also has a coke addiction--which basically wipes out and medication she takes-that was another thing i stood bby and suported--we have been seeing each other for about 15 months--from day one we practically lived with each other and we clicked--we had a discussion the other day--she doesnt feel like we have a future together--and we have had that discussion before--we talked about it then--its mainly financial--i do have a full time job--but im paying on things in the past--she doesnt want to have to take care of someone again---and i keep telling her thats not what its going to be-----the only times she gets to questoning things is when she goes through some bad times ie: money, and coke--------the rest of its 2 people loving, having fun, and enjoying eaxch other-----she wants space and to date other people---i dont have a problem with that--should i back off completely?
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divorce, friend with benefits, insecure, money, the internet Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): You sound like a good person to try and help her with her coke problem. Did it ever occur to her that you wou have to take care of her and her coke problems. I can't believe she says that she dose not want to have to take care of you cause you are paying off some stuff at least your not addicted to coke. She can't even take care of herself if she is addicted to coke. I feel sorry for her she really should enter a rehab no matter wat happens I hope you convince her to do so. As for her wantig space that could be good for her but I don't think she is ready to date anyone just getting out of a bad relationship and the drug problem. I guess if you really have feelings for he try and give he a little space and convince her to get clean then maybe she will see what a great guy you are. I hope no matter what happens your there for her as a friend. She could use one right now. Good luck
A
female
reader, Cyg79 +, writes (29 May 2008):
Depends on what you want from a relationship. I think if she wishes to pursue other people then you should let her and do the same. You sound like a really nice guy, and I give you credit for staying and supporting, but there is only so much one person can do. I would focuses on other possible relationship where the other person does not hold such doubts. Best of luck to you in what you decide to do.
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